Haha, weird one. XD
But I liked it.

it didn't suck. the 'able to control things/people at will' is a bit weird, but it was still quite funny. i loved marui's bit. XD 'My body's making me eat vegetables!' poor, poor little tensai ^^

wah~ sugoi! i was so into it. haha! hmm...when i was at the ending, the voice in my head was like some wrecked tape recorder or something like that. it kept saying niouxkirixbun but of course it didn't annoy me, it actually made me grin and fangirly. haha! i just absolutely love that threesome! :D

don't insult yourself. it'll only make you feel bad and when you feel bad, then you can't write a decent story. so don't, ok?

Lol. This is funny! Well, the end was. Hahaha! Marui has to eats veggie's! I would just love to see that for once! Niou seems kinda evil in this!...I like it! ^_^'

Your story was...weird...but it was entertaining, but WHY would Niou make Marui eat vegetables?! It's more obvious if everytime there will be cake or anything sweet in front of him his feet will start making him walk away or something...eh, (shrugging) your story was still entertaining...