You should deffinently(is that how its spelled?) add more to this story its awesome! LOVE IT!!
Nymphie

HI SHER! *waves*
I like this story!
I really do, cause no one actually know what Heaven is like and uh... you've talked about a possibility (:
I think a point of improvement would be trying to further emphasize Fred's wanting to go back to Earth, I guess. You see, for people like me who actually know the song, I just wander over the lyrics because I already... know all of it pmsl. So I was a little confused when "the party stopped in their tracks" xD
Apart from that, THE STORY IS PERFECT AH. You deserve to be published, and then I'll buy the book xD
ily x