a very good OS.

make this a two shot chapt 2 with lemons please and a complete happy ending! i beg u!

BANI HERE-- I give uppididoo tips, critisms, etc. HI THAR. Anyway. I'll start with some recap and comment at parts.
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"He looks so tired…"
Hmm. Good way to begin. I suppose. :B

"I want to kiss him. Those soft lips beg for it."
FAIL- AHEM. Now ask yourself. Is Kanda really the type to have soft lips. And Allen sounds WAAY too uke and moe here. :C

"Even though I know he doesn’t want me to, I still want… just one kiss. I suppose I’m supposed to be asleep now, but one little kiss won’t hurt."
TWO SUPPOSES? D8> Try using the world 'should'.

"Just one, then I won’t think of him as much. I can’t live when every single thought returns to him. It’s become hard to smile so brightly, but I try…"
'Then MAYBE I won't.' Or you can keep it like that. But we all know he's lying to himself. 8'D I really like the 'every single thought thing', though.

"He looks tired… when I bend down, it’s obvious that he looks peaceful too."
FAIL- Repetitive.

"I’m in love with a statue."
:C That's a horrible analogy.

"The way his eyes fire up though he doesn’t care for me at all… it hurts. It’s anger that lives in his eyes when he looks at me. These days, he looks away, as if he doesn’t care about being irritated with me… it hurts."
Repetitive, but I like the point you got across. O:

"No, I can’t do that. He wouldn’t like it. He’d be disgusted by it. "
LOVE THAT PART.

"Perhaps.. yes, just his forehead would do. So soft, as if he might break."
WHAT so soft? (Well, I know. But you should try to avoid fragmented sentences like that, since it , y'know, doesn't really flow.)

"If only we weren’t exorcists, if only we were just ordinary people. Then again, I wouldn’t have met him. I would always have a hole in my heart then, for I would know there was someone I was meant to meet."
Yet again, poor wording but I love the point you got across. XD"

"Kiss."
Random. Fragmented. NONONO. :C

"“Moyashi? What are you ... against the wall. I close my eyes and hope that my death would be quick."
MY FAVORITE FARKIN' PART.

lol. that's so adorable.
xD

Very simple, but nice. ^_^ I like how you set up the opening of the possibility that Allen is actually in love w/ an actual stone statue. Nn, also I love how you portray Kanda when Allen describes him, and don't go overly into detail. :D Good Luck with everything!
~Kira
P.s. and a little angst never hurt anyone, as long as there's also fluff involved(!) XD

it's fluffy :P i liked it :) keep up the good work :)

Great little fic you have here. I really enjoyed reading this and I love how you used a statue to represent Kanda...and the end was gold. Great writing. Loved it!

Oh my!! I absolutely LOVED this text!! *fav*
Bravo!
uathann :D

AH! I love it its so cute, I've tryed to portay Yu-san in that way but never have been able to, I ended p making his anger cover up shyness. BRAVO!

^_^ it's nicee & sweet!! luv it!! yeah allen is just too irresistible ne?! so that kanda has to be harsh to him, so that he could control himself XD and the kiss...melting!!

Too much sugar...

Aww...this story had such a sweet feel^^! Such a endearing read! Keep writing!

nice one...^^

Kyaa OMG that was so cute >w