Hard to believe this was your first story...I love it! X3

I'll look at those other one shots also!

I thought it was fairly good, but it lacked a bit of storyline and detail. Don't be afriad to spend a paragraph or two (or ten... x.x) on discribing your characters and setting, and don't be afriad to extend the storyline and put insights into the characters thoughts and feelings.

Remember, this is constructive critisism. Use it to make yourself a better writer! ;)

CR

awsome! youre good!

I was gone for a while, so I didn't have a chance to read this before. It's not bad for a first timer. I really liked the end, but do wonder why Rouge wasn't involved. Keep trying to push yourself and Good luck, my friend.