Rest assured - Caderyn is not turning into a Gary Stu ;) The first sign I see of that, I'll let you know. A tip: Mary Sues and Gary Stus are measured not by what happens to them, but by their affect upon the people around them. A Mary Sue warps everyone around her, twists the world like a tangle in fishing line. The moment people around Caderyn begin to fall out of character, that will be your warning sign.

But, so far, so good!

There were a couple of sentences that were... awkward. Like: 'His muscles slightly exposed thought the sleeves but they weren’t very noticeable as the shirt hung off him carefully as it disappeared into a loose pants.' That sentence doesn't make much sense. It's difficult to proofread your own work, though, and if I weren't so drowned in school right now, I'd offer to beta for you. I'm a good editor.

Overall, I adored the chapter, though. I feel such unholy amusement at Caderyn continually being mistaken for a woman! I admit: a weakness of mine is effeminate male characters.

I also like how you weave pieces of his backstory into his musings, giving us a little piece of who he is each time. I'm looking forward to more!

Another good chapter! I applaud you for continually taking Caderyn in the direction of NOT a Mary Sue ;) I think it's great that he got the crap beaten out of him by Valen. Most other fics I've found result in Valen being easily beaten by the OC, which in my mind is a bit overpowered. It's far too easy to do in fandoms like NWN, where the OC is often the main character.

There were a couple of typos and spelling errors, but other than that, I think this chapter flows better than the first two. I particularly liked the opening section. Very well done indeed.

Keep writing!

"What do we really know about this woman?”

Hey, I thought that the OC was man. O.o

You updated! Wonderful! I found this story a couple of weeks ago, and was afraid that you'd given up on it. I'm enjoying it immensely.

My impressions of Cadeyrn are mixed at this point. He's funny on one hand, but on the other he's a malicious prick. I can certainly see how that stems from his bitterness, and I look forward to seeing how his character develops as the story progresses.

Keep writing! :)