|Reviews for The New|
| deideidei 6/10/08 . chapter 1
Nice Un! I like the details and how you described each characters. Hopefully you will up date this soon.
| Action-Hank 2/19/04 . chapter 1
You should continue with this story. I always wanted to write something similar to this.
| Guest 9/12/02 . chapter 1
Please? They took off CriMson, but you can still go on with the stoyr! It is off to a great start, and there are a lot of people who want to see some work done with it!
| deanine 7/16/02 . chapter 1
***swoosh... and in floats the constructive feedback fairy***
Don't be afraid... this is what I do. It isn't a negative activity, but an attempt to help a fellow author learn and grow.
1. The formatt is a little hard to read. Consider breaking things up by adding a space when you change speakers.
2. Consider adding some sentence vatiety. Starting every sentence the same way and following the same formula through can become monotonous to the reader.
3. Some more description would make this little narrative even more interesting. Describe the night, what it feels like in this world. Make the reader smell and taste and feel - it's your job as the writer. They can't get into your head. You have to tell them everything.
I'm in danger of running on, so I'll stop. Bottomline, your story is original and I think you have potential. Keep writing and improving and I'll keep reading.
Peace, Love and Lollipops!
| Cenobiter 1/1/02 . chapter 1
hmm. How did Alex end up in the cage? I liked the story, hope you write more. There's some questions that definately need answering, and a story that needs continuing )
| Vampy 12/7/01 . chapter 1
Yes, Please add some more. There are so few Crimson fanfic's out there so I really can't get enough of it. ;)