laughing... two. words. "Mother Mode"

Lol!

cute!

AWW! SO CUTE! yay for innocent little lucy! i love you! SO MUCH!

this made me laugh like crazy...

What's with all the flaming?

I fucking loved this! So cute.

*laughs* Oh my gosh, I love Lucy's innocence. It's just too cute.

Great work on the story!

Lucy Hoped No

One Would Give

Her The Hickeys

If It Meant Setting

Susan On her.

So Adorable!

Lucy's innocence and obliviousness is totally adorable. This is so adorable, as well. Great fic!

this was really cute!

that story made me lol at the end... lucy hoped no one would ever give her hickeys, if this was the trouble they caused xD

and yay for protective/motherly!susan

This is so very amusing!

What is so funny, is that it is so true.

I recall asking one of my guy friends when I was younger why her had bruises around his neck. He blushed and told me I didn't need to know.

Wow. This was in really poor taste.

Ugh...completely disgusting and totally inapropriate. I suggest you remove this from the site imeadiately. Utterly repulsive and evidently a negative approach on bi couples. And to conclude, this is a disgrace to the C.S. Lewis catagory and has no connection, other than the characters, to the Narnia theme.

Story: 8/10. In terms of story, I think that you do very good with this. It is a little cutesy, but it is a nice idea and has a good resolution.

Characters: 7/10. I'm not a huge fan of the babyfing Lucy while making Edmund seem much older, but I guess I can live with it in movieverse. Your characters are all more or less in character, but I think that they could be a little deeper. In terms of how you handle the pairing, you must be doing something right because this ship usually totally squicks me, but it didn't this time.

Creativity: 7.5/10. There is a fair amount of Peter/Edmund fluff out there, but I do think this fic has a nice little idea behind it.

Writing: 8/10. Your writing seems mostly correct and some of your dialogue is very nice, though I wouldn't mind seeing more description in places.

Believability: 6.5/10. You don't make the events unbelievable, but I wish that there was more to tie this fic to the movies/books. I sort of feel like this doesn't have to be Narnia fanfiction - it could be about original characters. In terms of background info and story, that is, the characters are enough like themselves to work.

Overall: 7.5/10. It's a nice little fic with a cute idea, though I'd like a little more to connect it to Narnia.