Damn it. I'm so so so so sorry being late like this. I know i've been.. like... gone for a long time. i don't know why. I coudl'nt explain clearly. TMNT's obsession decreasing, moving every month for job and stuff, lack of organisation... all at once. But i didn't forget. I don't like feeling like if I gave up, like if i didn't care anymore. Because I do. Okay I must admit that TMNT is not my top-1 fandom right now, because, I work on "cycles", something like that. Maybe after one year and a half of fanart I wanted something else. Though i've got some few projects again with them, and I love them as much as I can. I love them for 18 years, why should I stop, after all? That's just my mind is focused on others things. But they are still part of me, and your are still one of my favorite author. I still keep your fanfics among my books, I still read them very often, I still read "To The Rescue" every time I feel bad. So, for all this... for how much it was important in my life... I'm sorry i didn't come to speak to you for ages. Really...

I wanted to review this story your wrote for me... I've got many stories to review and few time, again (thanks christmas!), i didn't have the time to read it all... But i'll do, once i'll finish everything, i promise!!
I'm listening to a song that puts me in a special mood - a perfect mood for the story, actually. It was so... heart-breaking to read how Don considers Leo's death. "Accidents happen. People overlook things. People die."
yes, Donnie. These are facts. But what are facts when it touches you so cruelly? It's your own brother. It's your own loss. And no matter how many people die outside, your is always the most important for you. It hurted me to see him trying to take it so... I don't know. Pretending, in a way, it doesn't matter, because it just happens. He doesn't allow himself to really feel that sad. He can't, because he still has this hope, too. And better that way than thinking their brother gave them up, with no writing anymore. It would hurt a lot more, considering this possibility?
And so, here he is, acting like a jerk, like a bad guy. Because his fear gaves him anger, because he doesn't feel secure anymore, becaue he doesnt feel family anymore. He is pushed, or he pushes himself in a role he can't bear. Because he can't deal with his borther's emotions when his owns emotions aren't that clear. He's just... human, after all!! Funny to see how giant turtles appears me like ones of the most humans fictionnals characters ever...
He needs a hand to take him out of this, they all need it. But they can't do with each others.
The last scene gave me tears in my eyes, because i... imagined this scene a lot since i saw the movie. I think i must have even written it somewhere... The door closed, the tears falling. Because it's only behind a closed door you can be yourself, you can act like a child.
Oh, all that can sound really depressive... But it's not. It just... how it was back then. And I love you for wiriting such a good Donnie. Not that cliché girly-pacifist-calm and shy turtle people want him to be, because he is not. They are all more complicated than clichés describing them !!

Thanks for writing me such a beautiful story... really, thank you.

I just read this for the first time - I'm sure I'll read it many times more. The thing that really gets me about you is that you write with such empathy for all the characters, you can really get inside their minds, and their deepest emotions and motivations. In that respect you're almost second to none.

Just a few of the things I really liked:

an' there ain't no adventures anymore, just the sound a' the damned monotony of your ** boring life. You'd give anythin' for the days when you were somethin' besides a change machine for the family budget, makin' money so you can keep up the routine of eatin', sleepin', an' workin' for the rest a' your life. Now. You wanna ask me again why I was out last night?”

This strikes close to home for many people whose lives are exactly that. When I saw the movie, I kind of sided with Donny regarding Raph's lack of contribution to the family. Oh, just more of Raph's habitual self absorbed rebellion, only made worse by bitterness over Leo's absence - maybe he's not deliberately trying to make things harder for everyone, but he's at least indifferent to any needs but his own. Seeing it fron Raph's perspective, seeing his family sink further into monotonous misery with no purpose to thier actions except to make through to another day of the same, it's completely understandable that he decided that such a life wasn't worth it.

All of chapter 4 - Till the Dawn. It brings home the reasons behind Raph's extreme and violent reaction at Leo's return. The explanation 'well he was hurt and betrayed because Leo seemed to have adondoned them' only works for me on an intellectual level. But this scene (among others), showing the events that happened in Leo's absence, showing Raph witnessing Mikey's pain and faith and betrayal (and Raph never could stand to see Mikey in pain), makes me empathize with his bitterness and fury.

Don's scene with the old woman on the help line was like a hammer to the gut. I ached for both of them.

I could go on and on. Brilliant, beautiful job.

Oh, and by the way, just where IS all the money going?

please update this soon, it rocks!

I love this chapter. *sniff* I just love it. I remember seeing the first draft a while back, and the execution of this final one, the last line, the conversation with the old woman, just tugged my heart strings!

They are really desperate without Leo. You did a really good job of capturing that.

Okay, this chapter is really ** me because I love Don so much and this chapter makes me almost hate him a little. Just a bit. I keep having to tell myself to remember from whose perception we're seeing all this...

Still, it's hard not to agree with Raph at times. Loved when he said:

>
> Send in the backup to do what you know you can't do. You can't
> control me through Mike, either.
>

But the whole paragraph that followed it was probably my favorite part. It's kind of hard to imagine Don "racing for power". I can't help suspecting that maybe, in his worry and anxiety, he threw himself at what he perceived the 'problem' to be with his usual industrious gusto. Maybe that, combined with his over-zealous interest managing their funds, gave Raph this idea.

Mike's suspicious line of questions probably made me the most uncomfortable. Where IS the money going? If I'm supposed to understand the answer to this question -- well, it's all still quite a mystery! And kind of an unsettling one... I'm hoping that I'm not just completely missing something obvious here and this is really something you plan to reveal down the road.

XOXO

Winny

I adore this story. It has a very real feel to the guys and what they're going through. Great job.

Great chapter.

Where does that money go anyway?
*peeks at budget* *alarms sound, Donnie comes running with bo staff in hand*
Uh...later!

M, how many ways can I say 'amazing'? Not enough apparently!

Raph didn't wait up till dawn for Leo. He waited up till dawn for Michelangelo.

Whoa. Whoa.

Very intense stuff here, I feel bad for Don having to play the bad guy just as much as I sort of want to smack him for it. Great job making such conflicting emotions arise in a reader!

Remember how we used to live?

You pull off all dialogue-chapters so dang well, I'm awed!

Amusing but depressing dialogue too-- very IC and spot-on. I could feel Mikey TRYING and Raph just wanting it to end.

Lovely work!

I admire your ability to say so much in so few words, Tori! The emotion in this scene was crackling-- as was the cereal, which I could almost hear, the description was so tightly worded.

Excellent work, sweetie!

*is speechless, again*
I'm so sorry I haven't commented until now. These chapters are so raw, emotional and strikes deep to the quick. A wonderful job!
Raph's line of reasoning in this chapter is so touching and yet so harsh.
I do look forward to future chapters. ^_^

That was... so powerful! *sigh* I can't believe this is gonna be a series of one-shots... I almost feel like I should plead for a chapter that actually provides relief for these heart wrenching chapters! Where Leo actually comes... home? Haha, wishful thinking I know... Thanks so much for writing this awesome... er, collection of one shots! :)

Wow. Post more soon.