Well...
Everything I was going to say, I said in my review for Chapter 18. Again, there are a few slight tweaks that need to be made, but it's mostly good. It's been really nice seeing you get better as you write.
One of the most confusing things that need to be tweaked is the lack of quotation and question marks in the right places...it makes it a little hard to tell where the speaking stops and the action starts, although it's not impossible.
This is just a neutral comment, but I didn't think that Ramirez was in any way "racist" like you made it seem when Maiyuki gave her speech about how "Arcadians and Silvites are no different from each other."
Also, whatever happened to Mai and Alzu's fighting abilities? They did all their own fighting in the early chapters (that is, when they weren't sneaking around the Valuan palace), so it seems kind of odd that Maiyuki would just stand there and not notice a guard stabbing her with a spear.
That brings me to a question that I probably should've asked last chapter, but Mai thought she was just human until she got to Arcadia, and then all of a sudden, she starts gaining music-based and/or psychic powers of some sort. Just...out of nowhere. Where did the powers come from? Are you trying to fix that by de-powering her now? If so, that might not be your best option; it gives off a feeling of inconsistency, and having consistency is often more important to a story than correctness or explanation. (Don't answer if it'll spoil the story, though.)
And one last question: Skies of Arcadia, at least at the start of this story, was a video game. Yet, Xanti seems to know quite a bit about Earth. Is SoA more than just a video game for the purposes of this story? That's a bit of a problem that I have with most stories of this nature: the person seems to be pulled around without any explanation, or even any effects on the homeworld, other than those that the characters imply exist. It just seems like Earth is just a non-important plot device, like you could get rid of Earth altogether without changing any important parts of the story. (I'm going to have to remember this; I plan on making a story with a similar main plot of people who go to another world and have to do something to help that world before they can return.)

Hey there!
I haven't reviewed in forever, I know, but I'm going to try and make up for it here.
You're getting better at writing; I could tell that almost immediately after I started reading again. However, there is one thing that I and maybe other readers find confusing: you sometimes write someone saying something, and then write someone else reacting to that in the same line. Every time that happens, I have to remind myself of who's talking and who's reacting, and it kind of makes it harder to understand the story in general.
You seem to be doing decently at juggling characters for the most part, but it would be better if you'd let the readers know who's doing what more often, like with the above speaking example. Otherwise, I could see people becoming very confused while reading this.
Also, the more you get into this story, the more it feels unexplained and raw...maybe I'm just too much into anime where everything about the various powers and suchlike is explained at the start (if only a little bit), but it seems like Maiyuki is messing with the game's plot and then covering it up with some hand-waving, like when she gives her two commands to Xanti. Also, it seems like Alzu has no point to being here, other than being Maiyuki's sidekick; these talks about his dad make him sound like you took his character from some story that you don't have online and stuck him in here to help Maiyuki, who probably has a counterpart in that other story. If I may guess further, I'd say that you have almost every little detail of this other story down, either in notes or in your head, but no one else does.
Last critique: commas, colons, apostrophes and capitalization are shy and misunderstood, but friendly creatures that help make a story even better. You have definitely improved with regard to their usage, but there are still some words and sentences that could use them.
All in all though, nice improvement, and it seems like you have some idea about where the story is going, which is a lot more than most writers have. The characters' personalities are becoming more defined and robust, as well; the fourth paragraph is a good example of this, as well as any bit with Xanti being fatherly towards Luka. You just have a few specific quirks that, once they get fixed (unless you don't want to; some writers purposely try to give their stories quirks) will make this story come alive.

If short chapters can be followed up with at least normal-length chapters that are chock-full of plot-loving goodness (can I USE any more compound words separated by a hyphen?), then I don't mind about the length of one chapter.
Well, other than needing some commas and capitalization, I only have one error to point out: the word is "sumimasen." OK, maybe two: I'm pretty sure that "watashi wa" is two words, like that. It might not matter, so I'm not entirely sure, but I am comfortably sure.

Hmm...I'm definitely sensing an upward trend in skill. Does this mean that you've been taking my advice about reading other people's stories and using their skills and mistakes to better your own skills?
The stuff that I would critique you on is the stuff that I've been critiquing you on for the past 13 chapters or so, but I don't want to say those things because they don't apply as much in this chapter. One thing that I would really like to stress is that commas and semicolons CAN BE TAMED. They're weird and they have similar functions, but once mastered, they'll take you one step closer to supreme writing skill.

You know punctuation and grammar right?


You know apostrophes and spaces and all of that right?

Or not?

But, as I'm sure other people have stated proper spacing of paragraphs does a lot to make a reader not turn away when they see a fifty foot wall of words all bunched together.

And giving information away at certain points(like tidbits and crumbs)keeps the reader interested.

This can be a lot better, but I don't mind. It's either your way of writing or you just don't take writing seriously enough.

Hmm...I don't really know what to say about this chapter. It's pretty good, but it just seems like it's there to set up something bigger. Considering your little author blurb at the end, I'm pretty sure I'm right. Maybe you could let me know what some of these ideas are? I could probably use some work on arranging plot points myself. I don't trash people's stories on purpose if they let me help. Granted, I just finished this decently large climax in my own story a few days ago, but that just means that I'm going to have to arrange and rearrange my own ideas. So I'll have plenty of time to rearrange the ideas of other people as well, if needed.

Sorry I'm sending so many reviews

OH! THat's what was meant by Vyse's daisies...But they didn't belong to Vyse, they belonged to Aika...

Hehe...stick it in a juice box and suck it..That's good. Is that yours? 'Cause I want to use it.

It could just be because I'm sick, but I can't seem to follow on the telekenisis part.

Hehe...ninjas...Naruto...hehe

HAHA! YES! I give it a 10!! What better way to dis Galcian than to hit him where it hurts! You gotta love being a girl.

More about Chapter 5:
YES! BEcause boys clothes are ALWAYS more comfortable. THANK YOU!! at least SOMEONE agrees with me. I don't recognize the name of the group that wrote the song...did you make it all up? Is that Hebrew at the end you speak in, when you're yelling at Vyse? Hm...that would be a great idea...go all the way to Valua just to dis Galcian off.

Now on to Chapter 6...
HAHAHAHAHA! Valuans have Spanish names so they speak Spanish?! HAHAHAHA!...er...I know enough to understand what you said...but what did Ramirez say?

..hehe...what a way to face the admirals of Valua..

Nice shirt. :D
Huh...how would one feel if you had the chance to take a shower with a character you created?

Curious.
I'm typing up reviews as I read. I wonder if the boy she wants to meet in Valua is either Marco or Enrique. Well, I guess you can't call Enrique a boy so, Marco? Curious.

Hehe...the 'crap I'm gonna die' part is brilliant.

Excuse me if i say something really weird, I still feel ill and that screws with my thought process. However, I'm tired of feeling ill and i really want to read some good stories about my favorite game of all time, so bear with me.

...O.O...O.O;...O.O;?!...


...amusing...

Lots of grammar mistakes makes it hard to read...especially if you're reading this while having the flu like me...I swear,I've been sick for the past five days!

I want to get better...

Yes, about your story. Needs some grammar work eventually, but otherwise highly amusing. I like it.
Keep it up!

Hmm...what to say.
Constructive criticism first: the story seems to have too fast of a pace. I don't know; it's just my opinion. I've been told that the pace for my story is a bit too fast also, so I'm not sure how much room I have to talk. Oh, and "threw" is the past tense for "throw", but "through" is a different part of speech entirely. Also, "presents" make people happy, but a "presence" can, at least in Xanti's case, scare people or make them angry.
Compliments now! This is an interesting twist, with the Gigas having spirits/people forms. Why is Maiyuki so connected with the Black Gigas, though, if she's a descendant of the Purple Civilization? I greatly admire her combination of sarcasm and courage (aka snobbery). Strangely enough, that kind of snobbery is usually found in royalty. Did you do that on purpose?
And now another question/comment: Why do the pictures scare Maiyuki so much? It doesn't necessarily mean that they're prophetic in any way.
And finally, to finish off this review, I'm going to send you other sources of reading material that might help you become a better writer in a PM after I'm done typing this.

Well, this is definitely new stuff. I really hope you get done with the actual chapter 11. I have to say, the old "lying-while-unknowingly-telling-the-truth" gag that you had Maiyuki do was classic. That leads me to believe that you're definitely getting better. As for tips, well, I get the vague feeling that I'm being rushed straight to the end. And since when did Maiyuki have telekinesis? It seems like some of these characters have a full background story in your mind, but not in your writing. The other thing I could mention is just grammar/spelling stuff that we've already talked about. However, I feel the need to mention capitalization and period usage. Those two things will make this story much easier to read, and by putting definite beginnings and ends into the story, you'll slow it down to a better pace. Have fun with this story, and keep the slightly sarcastic banter between characters. It's pretty funny, as were the stories about Maiyuki's life back home, and her almost perpetual bad luck. Although it would've helped if your readers had known that Maiyuki was the kind of person to suddenly act like she's got a huge sugar rush before that happened.
So, there's my two cents. Do with them what you want.