Reviews for Pieces - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Pieces

Miura Tsubaki 2008-07-21 ch 1,	abuseOHMIGOSH. I love the song! =D Cleverly placed lyrics in your story, me likes...yess...XD Uber-cute, really sad! ^^ Well done! ~Miura
NothingFromNowhereImNoOneAt... 2008-07-16 ch 1,	abuseTo be honest, I've never read 'Loveless', so I'm kind of clueless as to the characters. XD But this piece is just so BEAUTIFUL- I loved how you let the angsty emotions rule the story (so even I could understand it). I love it- the word choice is perfect, and the emotions are so beautiful and painful. I never cease to be amazed by your work. ^^ You did such a great job!!
Totalycool16 2008-06-27 ch 1,	abuseThis is seriously amazing. It's really hard to find such amazing stories on fanfiction for me so I'm really happy that i found someone who can a) spell b) make GREAT use of paragraphs (when you would leave one word as a single paragraph to enphasize it) and c) has great ideas and knows how to express them. It was REALLY good, i can put in words how good it was, but I'd need a REALLY big thesaurus :D I'm gonna go check out the rest of your stories now so, once again, great job and keep it up!
J Plash 2008-06-23 ch 1,	abuseI quite like it (I always love your writing, lol), there are bits I -adore-, but there're a few things that seem odd (warning, concrit follows :P). "maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to be paired up with you. Or maybe I would’ve chosen you anyway" sits strangely just 'cause he didn't choose him, and he didn't want to be paired with him. He wanted to be paired with Ritsu. I think I understand what you mean, but it came across as a strange...an 'un-Soubi' thing to say. Seimei chose him, not the other way around, just as Seimei owns him, and not the other way around. I don't know that Soubi's even capable of trying to invert that. Your Soubi is a little different, but still...that line might have pushed it too far. Then the idea that he promised himself he'd change when he left Ritsu. This is difficult because until he was leaving, he didn't think he was ever going to (and didn't want to), and when he first met Seimei he immediately treated him like a master and pretty much encouraged Seimei to treat him as a slave (not that Seimei needed any encouragement, but...). Overall, your Soubi in this does at times sound like he resents Seimei because you want him to. There are parts that work really well, but there also and pieces that make the character feel forced. Your Seimei, on the other hand, is excellent, and the parts where Soubi's talking about their silent communication are wonderful. The section about Soubi clinging to his delusions that Seimei might care, even though he knows they're false, is brilliant (absolutely heartbreaking - -cries-), as is the bit about the photos. And the opening (first 5 lines) is lovely. Sorry if that sounded a bit critical, I've just been writing pre-Ritsuka Soubi and he's in my brain :P But yeah, good fic, Soubi's characterisation just blurs a little at times. Hope that's remotely helpful! (and tell me if you don't want concrit in future - I love it myself, so I always try to give it out when I can, but I know some people don't :) ) J

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