"She tries to remember when her home started to feel like a tomb."
- I love this opening. It's simple, it's matter-of-fact, it's completely relevant, and it sets the tone for the whole fic. And it references back to Simon's comment about how Serenity has a vaguely funereal sound. Contrasted to the way that Zoe is anything but serene in this fic, death-wise or freedom-wise.

The bit with loving the ship--I am not sure that ever comes up in the series. We know all about how Mal relates to Serenity, and that everyone echoes that in their own way to some degree, but I can't recall seeing much of what Serenity specifically means to Zoe. But based on Out of Gas, it makes sense that everything is tied up with Wash. Serenity is not just The Place It Happened, or The Place That Reminds Me Of Him. On some level, there is actual, active betrayal here.

"It's instinct"--because it's just such a GOOD way of framing Mal and Zoe's relationship.

And the dialogue--the voices, the descriptions--it's all so spot-on! I'm seeing and hearing it just like an episode--all the subtleties, all the nuances. It gives an added touch of magic that really makes this piece shiny.

You do a beautiful job of capturing the stubborn Zoe, the Zoe who, as much as she appears to obey all of Mal's commands, has never sworn to obey anyone. She reacts to grief by showing her strongest and toughest side.

And the ending line is so amazing. It's apt and it really gives the fic closure. And if it hasn't been said in the show, damn if that is not the most appropriate Mal-line you could have chosen. If it was not in the canon, it should be.
It also makes me think of a suggestion of, "Here is the healing process." That somehow Zoe's progress is implicit in the line, that there is a kind of optimism even though there is so much hurt still left to get over. It's like the good-cry feeling, this fic.

A-plus-plus we should do this more often.

-Windswift

(*sneaks in back door* Y HELO THAR.)

Ooh I love this; I'm completely fascinated with the entire concept of all-together Zoe being wracked by grief, and you've nailed it so well - the ANGER of it, which is something I tend to forget when I'm just pondering, and... oh my god, Serenity. You figured her in so well. Being their be-all and end-all means she gets the blame too, and through her, just... everything, the whole thing Mal's built, and... But anyway, specifics.

"She tries to remember when her home started to feel like a tomb."
- Because it just sets up right off that this is about Serenity - Wash is such a huge and conspicuous lack of naming, lack of exactly saying... And "Serenity" does have that funereal tone.

"Serenity has been her home for as far back as she cares to remember."
- And that, because - as she cares to remember. She and Mal have built such a thing on denial, on running; or Mal has and she's built hers on him and through him on that, and it's all.. but yes. There was so much before that, but it doesn't bear remembering.

"So she gave it her heart, and all the memories that came before it, and she loved it back."
- LOVE. That she gave it her heart - like, something she was using, something she presumably also kept and she loved Wash and Mal and Kaylee, etcetera - but then her memories, something she was trying to get rid of at least a little. Because Serenity is like that, can do that; keep something for you or share it...

"Better than having it happen here, at home, just so much slower."
- Again, the anger, which makes so much sense, especially for her, especially with how it happened - and then this - not just that Wash could have died there, but that she should have to, and slowly. That Serenity doesn't just make everything better.

“Then I suggest..."
- Because it's so utterly Mal, but just like with the snapping in the first episode - it's different when he does it to Zoe, because he shouldn't have to, because he shouldn't be willing to, but he so deeply is willing to when he does (think that he has to) have to, because all he knows how to do is slap bandages on things and hope that they hold for one more day, one day at a time.

"The freedom comes with the choosing."
- And THAT, most of all that. She feels trapped, but she isn't leaving. Everything else aside, she hasn't left. And that's the thing, for Mal; no matter how bad things get, as long as they don't leave him, don't leave Serenity. And Serenity isn't a trap because... mm, Inara. You forget to want to. And now Zoe remembers to want to, but she hasn't, so maybe. I don't know.

God that was good - leaves me all upset and confused and just hurting, and wanting Zoe to be better and Wash to be back. MAH.

Great characterization and thoughtful, insightful capturing of the depths of Zoe's emotions following Wash's death. I think you pretty much nailed it on your first attempt.

I love it. The sentiment that Mal adds at the end shows you his own progress.