Once again, I'm cutting small talk because I'm so dang enveloped in this story! Your seriously impressing me with your writing. And even though your writing is great, it's your unique ideas that really grab me. It takes a talented author to pull off what you pull off (And I haven't even read too much of it yet, either!)
She showed Candy Apple all of her toys, and she taught Candy Apple to play Chutes and Ladders, Candy Land, Tidily Winks, and Connect Four
You know, I usually abhore the association of things like eBay, Barbie, etc. in fanfictions because it just takes away the magic when stuff I know about is incorporated in the Dragonball timeline. However, this story is just the opposite. I'm REALLY loving all of the quirky associations your plugging into this story instead of hating it. I have found very few fics that do that for me! But this one does!
I thought Marron's showing Candy Apple how to play all of those games was truly adorable! I loved it! It seems so much like her. I really love Marron, I think she's one of the cutest kids in Dragonball and she's highly overlooked. So much could be done with her in stead of repeat fictions about Gohan, Goten, Trunks, etc. So I'm really liking how your putting her into this fiction.
All of the males in the house couldn't take their eyes off of her. Even Krillin was having a hard time not staring at her for too long
LOL! You've got the male mentality down to an art, Sawnya. I swear, sometimes it disgusts me when guys just google over a girl, but sometimes it's the most hilarious thing in the world to watch them go nuts over someone they don't even know.
and then to everyone's surprise, she plopped her perfect, curvy body right down on Roshi's lap and gave him a long, heated kiss
OMG! Hilarious thing is, instead of being disgusted with this, I actually find it immortally entertaining! And in some oddball way, sweet. I mean, like I ever wanted to envision Roshi getting lip-locked by some mad honey! But it actually works. Don't ask me how. I know I could NEVER pull something like this off.
Krillin and Juuhachigou choked on their coffee, and Marron's blue eyes widened to the size of Frisbees
BWUAHAHA! I'd get my kid outta the house, seriously! But really, I'da had the same reaction had I been there! Choking on my non-existent coffee. (I hate coffee, so make it my veyr existent chocolate milk! Wait, I'm on a diet... *Snaps fingers* Darnit, not even in a fiction can I get any good stuff!)
Candy gently traced Roshi's mouth with her slender finger, and she began planting butterfly kisses all over his face. She nuzzled his wrinkled throat with her tiny, pointed nose, and then she gave him another heated smooch. She whispered something in his ear, and Roshi fell out of his chair, with a dazed expression and a goofy grin
O.o
Had I read THAT first I'd probably have LEFT this fic abruptly! LOL! But really, it doesn't seem so... What's the word? Scandalous, I guess, now that you've set the stage for it. Man, she sounds exactly like the kinda person he needed all along! Of course now, the big problem is going to be making sure OOlong doesn't run off and buy another Candy Apple Doll and wish HER to life!
"It won't ruin it," OOlong retorted. "I've done it before." He would have gotten away with that too, except that Candy noticed a faint whitish ring on the corner of the polished cherry table
"And he would have gotten away with that, too..."
Sounds like a Scooby Doo episode. That made me laugh. However, I can see where this is going. Roshi is going to be rethinking his wish before too much longer, I'm sure! And everyone else will be rethinking his wish with him!
"A BABY?" everyone exclaimed
A BABY? BWUAHAHAA! OMG, maybe Roshi will be rethinking that wish soon... Then again, maybe not! Seriously though, this girl KNOWS what she wants! (Of course, if I were her and she were me, I'd be making a dead run for Goku's house. If I was one of the best females warriors at challenge Chichi for Goku! Of course, I don't think martial arts would have anything to do with it... That woman'd woop me!)
"The Eternal Dragon is punishing Master Roshi for all of his dirty deeds, so he sent her to torment him," Juuhachigou cracked
*IS ROLLING* She sounds exactly like my friend. I swear, I'd never realy thought of her like Juuhachigou, but the way you write her makes them seem alike!
Umigame and OOlong groaned loudly, Marron looked puzzled, and Juuhachigou and Krillin both flopped over backwards
PERFECT reactions. Simply perfect! There's just something so comical about Krillin adn Juuhachigou when they freak out together. I think it's beacsue they are really one of the only couples who are on about the same wave length.
"I have a date," OOlong announced. Everyone looked at him strangely
LOL! I'd look at him strangely, too. Wondering what kinda woman would go on a date with a pig. Isn't that against most people's religions, anyway?
"Shenlong must have given her Borderline Personality Disorder as a bonus along with her other 'qualities',"
Hehe... She's so sarcastic! I really love that about her character, though. I also love the way you write her. She's vey in character, yet more vocal than usual for the sake of the story. I actually prefer that, though!
"At this point, I'd sneak out to Hell, or as some people call it, the Home For Infinite Losers,"
BWUAHAHAHAHA! *Wipes tear* Seriously, that's hilarious. A perfect cue to end the chapter on!
Anyhow, it's late and I still have other things to do! I can't wait to read more of this story, it's really great! VERY different, but that's it's best quality!
Thanks for the laughs, girl! I'll talk to 'ya later!
But, seriously *Ahem* I'm going to cut the chat back because I'm seriously wanting to read the rest of this story! I hope I can finish it all tonight *Yeah right!* But if not tonight, then soon!
But they figured they could at least help him, so that he wouldn't screw up his chances once Candy Apple was wished to life
OMG! What great friends. Honestly, they are starting to remind me more and more of my guy friends. They act just like my boys (Except for Umigame, sadly, I don't have someone as responsible as he is! 'Aint that always the way?)
Aw, I found Roshi's wanting her to be smart and intelligent and all very sweet. Don't know exactly why, I guess because deep down maybe he really doesn't just want someone for physical reasons alone. So with all of the Genius IQ stuff and all, I thought it was a very nice touch and it starts evolving his character for much deeper things, I 'reckon!
"So that if he cuts himself again, or ticks Vegeta off, he'll have someone to take care of him," Umigame added with a grin
Bwuaha! Now it's Umigame's turn to be sarcastic! I love it!
"I'm surprised that didn't rank at the top of your list, old man," OOlong snickered
OOlong and I are of like mind. I was wondering that, too. Obviously, Sawnya has some greater prupose for all of this... *Mocks Piccolo's voice*
"No doubt Kami... er, Sawnya has some special purpose for Goku... I mean, Roshi!"
:S Funny shtuff! I 'sho crack myself up sometimes!
"She must be completely devoted to me, completely loyal, and love me for who I am," Roshi said wistfully
You know, odd as this sounds, this is actually kinda sweet... *GRINS* Heck, now I wanna make a wish for my Android Saga Goku figure to come to life... Oh baby... LOL! *Like you want to know about this!*
OMG! *DIES LAUGHING* I positively LOVED Shelong's potshot at Roshi! *Is still rolling from the visual!* I mean, COME ON! Shenlong, the impressive, eternal, all-knowing, all-fearing "god of love" (LOL!) making cheap shots at everyone else. But I swear he has a right to. I mean, if he doesn't know Goku on a first-name basis then he's not as smart as everyone gives him credit for. Seriously though, how many times has he seen Goku, Bulma, Roshi, OOlong and everyone else? COUNTLESS time I assure you!
So, yeah *IS STILL LAUGHING*
Roshi's face turned red, and he grinned. Umigame and OOlong sighed
BWUHAHAHA! That just got to me... LOL!
"He ordered her up, like he would a plate of food in a restaurant," Piccolo complained. "He could have wished for himself to be younger, to be stronger, but instead, he wishes for a hunk of plastic and hair to be brought to life to satisfy his own desires."
TEE HEE! Piccolo, Piccolo, Piccolo... After reading 'PICCOLO AND CHICHI' by Bucky, I always percieve Piccolo to be a closet romantic. I mean it! Who wouldn't want a man like Piccolo anyhow? He just seems to me to be a Romeo in disguise. And so when he was so disgusted with Roshi, it fit well into the Toriyama-Character and into my Freaky Casanova/Piccolo-Character, too. _
BWUAHAHA! This is hilarious, I HAVE to read the next chapter! I don't care if it keeps me up all night. This is seriously entertaining!
Well, I'm going off to Chapter Three now, girlie! This is a great story so far and highly addictive! I hope (and trust) that all of the other chapters will be as good!
*Grabs you in a big hug* I had no idea that YOU wrote this story! I had seen it on the site several times on the update page but had never read it. I always made a not of it, however, because I really WANTED to read it, since it was so dang different! I'm so glad that you wrote it, because I know I can expect great authorship! It's a pity and a shame when good ideas are wasted by poor writing.
Anyhow, I actually went to read 'Hog Wild', since it sounds SO hilarious! I started reading the beginning parts, and realized that I was missing out by not reading this one first. So I toddled my happy butt right on over to this one before starting on 'Hog Wild'.
Before I start, I MUST say you are the most unique author I know! You write on the weirdest concepts about the oddest characters, and that THRILLS me! The only thing I've really read by you is "Lots 'O Lemons" (Which I still have to review, by the way!) and I laughed my tush off! That was truly hilarity in it's finest form!
So I'm coming here to review this story. I'm looking forward to great things with it, since it's so different and I really do thrive on things that are out of the oridinary.
Enough small talk, on to the review!
BWUAHAHA! OOlong, Umigame and Roshi all out shopping, what a recipe for catastrophe! I was already rolling around laughing before the first few paragraphs were finished. Being permanently banned from the Adult Store just seemed so perfect... LOL!
I think she was more upset over Roshi popping her water bra than anything else
BWUAHAHA! That's hilarious! I always threatened to put my sister's water bra in the freezer before she put it on in the morning... Imagine the cruelty! *Dramatic pose of evilness* Seriously though, this whole incident is so reminiscent of Roshi and OOlong in the anime that I swear it was almost like watching an episode! That's talent to get a character down so good I'm starting to envision episodes about it! (Not to mention FUNNY episodes! And highly FUNimation censored episodes, too!)
"Well, that's going to cut down on Master Roshi's porn magazines for a while," Umigame said, not without some relief
*Holds sides laughing* That... is... hilarious... The whole "Umigame said, not without some relief."
I read that two minutes ago and am STILL laughing. I mean, by all accounts I don't get cracked up just too terribly often, but something about the way you write these characters makes it... Just... HILARIOUS for lack of a better word to say! (Get used to the word 'hilarious' though, because I know I'll be saying it a lot in these reviews!)
"Old man, why do you want a doll? Even you can't be that desperate, considering the doll is only ten inches tall. You have plenty of women to look at in those magazines that you still order-oh, by the way, can I borrow your new issue of 'Playthings'?"
HAHAHA! Your portrayal of OOlong's one track mind is flawless. how he starts talking about one thing and ends on another... BWUAHAHA! Impeccably OOlong. You have his character down-pat!
but even the fashion dolls fascinated him, much to his own embarrassment
Oh, poor, poor Umigame! He's so good, so virtuous... Wonder how he ever ended up with Roshi in the first place? Maybe you oughtta do a fiction on that, adding comedy like this. I mean, your a great humor writer, and even though I've only read a little bit of your stuff, your fast becoming ones of my favorites. And it's a big deal if your added to my favorites, because I only accept the best!
Candy Apple was the newest Barbie rip-off, only just as popular
LOL! What a blunt way to put it, but one on everyone's mind, anyhow. You know, I wonder how Barbie does feel about that sorta thing... And all of the other folks who get ripped off. Ever notice how many different types of cereal there are just like 'Frosted Flakes' that look the same and are in a similar box, only called things like 'Frosty Flakes', 'Frosted Flakers', 'Frosted Flakies' etc.
I mean, if I was Tony the Tiger, I'd be encouraging a heckuva lotta lawsuits. Really, I would!
Krillin had specifically asked Roshi to buy any Candy Apple doll, plus the Candy Apple Dream Mansion that included all of the trimmings, from a real working mini-Jacuzzi, to a three-car garage
Aw, Krillin's such a good daddy! You nailed his disposition, being so sweet and all. He really loves his wife and his daughter and seems like he'd gladly go to the ends of the earth for whetever the heck they wanted. Krillin is 'da man! lol!
And then, he asked Roshi to pick out at least ten Candy Apple doll outfits, but none too revealing or sexy, or Juuhachigou would have Krillin's head
LMBO! Sounds like ME as a mother! I'm sure I won't be too overprotective, but I just don't see the use in little girls having to look at that sorta thing to find glamour, 'ya know? And plus, Juuhachigou sure seems like she would be all over Krillin about something like that. And what if Chichi had a little girl? She'd be the same way!
Finally, after much discussion between Roshi and OOlong (and Roshi's disappointment that the Candy Apple Hooker Doll was no longer available, except on eBay)
BWUAHAHAHA! *wipes tear* I don't know how you keep me laughing so dang much, but you DO! You'd think I'd get tired of it after a while, and it being 1:42am in the morning and all... But this is just cracking me UP!
with Candy Apple wearing a long, glittering lavender dress
*SNICKERS* Lavender... that's Mira's obssessive color... It cracks me up anyway!
OOlong wanted to know, desperate to leave, so he could make a move on the black girl at The Bookshelf
BWUAHAHAHA! He sounds like my friends! Such one track minds! What is it with guys and hitting on girls all the time, anyhow? Whatever it is, I coudl perfectly see this in my mind. And also, I like the fact that the girl was black, it showed that OOlong is so woman-crazy that he doesn't discriminate, lol!
The whole story about sculpting Bulma was hilarious! I could see it all and Vegeta's reaction would have been priceless when written out! LOL!
"I found my woman!" he cried happily, picking up a "Candy Apple Warrior Princess" doll. She was dressed in an apple-green fighting gi and lavender obi, with a kanji on her chest
I am impressed with your knowledge of Japanese words! Gi, obi and kanji... Obi especially impressed me. Do you take karate? We have to memorize those words (Well, I knew 'em before, lol!)
Oh, Roshi picking the warrior princess doll... HMM... Maybe he's going to regret that one! I have a feeling she's gonna be sorta like Juuhachigou or Chichi in mentality... But then I could be completely wrong with that, too!
"I found the woman of my dreams!"
Now it was the employees' turn to fall over backwards
LOL! The perfect ending to this chapter!
I enjoyed this so much, Sawnya! I laughed and laughed, but still noticed the little touches and in-character writing. I LOVED it and seriously can't wait for the second chapter!
She's friggin' nuts! LOL! I love her personality! She's like a warped version of Maron (Krillin's ex) and Chi-Chi! LOL! Golly.. I'm loving this, and I definately plan on reading 'til the very end.
Unfortunately, I'm sleepy, lol. So I'll finish it tomorrow. *Grins* But great job so far! It's been a fun read the past three chapters!
LOL! I can imagine Juuhachi's face. There's something about the fact that she's that "affectionless" android living with a noseless guy, a talking turtle, a pig, and an old geezer that makes it all the more funnier when Roshi pops up with a girl in his arm. @_@; The facial expression I have in mind is totally priceless, lol!
And Maron.. She's so cute! LOL! "Candy Apple is alive? For real?" Sounds like a five-year-old, all right. Hehe.
Can't wait to see more of this! Glad to know that the pace is quick, because had it been me writing this, it would've taken eons to get this far. *Snickers* I always did admire an author with a bit of pace and speed.
LOL! This is so hilarious! One day, I want to go shopping with a perverted old coot and a lecherous pink pig... I think it'd be fun. *Laughs*
Great idea with the Candy Apple dolls, lol! The name itself makes the dolls sound sinfully sweet and "sinful".. I just can't wait 'til I get to the part when Roshi's doll becomes real. @@;; My, what a mess it will be... LOL!
this was a great story! im kinda making a roshi and a made up character romance too, but i cant tell you who she is. i hope itll be just as good. hey, can you show us their honeymoon, not like graphic or anything, but what happens when theyre in hawaii, like theyre at the beach and some hot lifeguards or somrthing come up to candy and try to ask her out, and she doesnt look like shes pregant either
Marvelous, simply marvelous._ I loved the ending, and this was a great story. I can't wait to read your Mai/Yajirobe pairing. I really like to see how you'll pull it off. Well, I'm off to read your Oolong/? pairing. I hope I enjoy it as much as I did this story.
I'll look for more stories of odd couples in the future! Hey, at least it is different! It's not everyday Roshi gets married!
Good job!
elektra642000 10/15/02 . chapter 11
This story is so odd. It reminds me those weird "Love Boat" episodes where someone like Arte Johnson or Red Skelton would hook-up with Charo. eww.
However, it's nice to see, (ok, maybe not see) know that even Master Roshi can find true love.
Btw, it's kind of funny that 18 and Candy are friends considering that both were once artificial girls.
Oh yeah, I just wanted to say that if anyone could pull off the Yajirobe/Mai pairing, it would be you. Go for it. The real challenge would be hooking up Chiaotzu. I mean he's tiny and cute, but that mime make-up is a deal breaker . . .
I'm still enjoying this!_ Keep up the great work. I loved the part when Master Roshi was singing over the phone. I was thinking,man, he must sound really off key.
Thank you for showing Dende and Piccolo again. I liked the idea of Mr. Popo having a girlfriend. It just sounds cute for some strange reason.
Anyways, I'm all for your other odd pairing fics. I'll be on the lookout for them when you finally post them.
By the way, I liked your stories so much that I just couldn't decide which ones to put in the favorite stories section, so I just decided to put you in my favorite authors column to save time.
Thank you for listening and keep writing. You're doing great!_
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