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| DemiHuman123 2008-07-01 ch 1,  | abuseHm... Don't know how I missed this one. Oh well, live and learn. This was a pretty well written story. The flashbacks were a nice touch in there to give it a real bar story kind of edge, and I like the idea of telling the story in a bar. It had it's uplifting and cute elements hear and there, and those seemed to be the main drive of the story. A sort of theme of unknown angst ridden love... the usual affair I suppose. Hahaha! The only real criticism I have is that everything just seemed to happen all at once. Mostly involving dialogue that seemed to be spoken too fast or in too little words, if that makes sense. Try expanding a little more on character driven interaction next time. Other than all of that, this was well written and indeed a nice and fluffy little OC slash. The inclusion of Brewster is a major plus in my book too. Good job, and keep up the good work! |