What is Bella?

Are you going to update soon?? PLEASE UPDATE SOON!

this is good, i can't wait for more!

NOW HURRY UP AND UPDATE!

You really must update this story, it's absolutely brilliant! I especially like the way in which the characters talk, you've managed to capture the whole medieval speech thin rather well. Can't wait for the next update!

Oh I really like this. Are you going to continue it?

really good I need more update soon I'm addicted.

Becca

no! not tanya! *cries* and where's bella? can she plz come in soon and kick edwards a$$?? please? *puppy dog eyes*

it was good so keep writing

Compelling opening, marred only by a few tangled sentences and a weird posting error that inserts two box-characters seemingly at random into the document. The characters are well and often economically described, the dialogue feels appropriately baroque, and you set up the feel of the period quite nicely.

Make sure to edit for words that are overly-complicated for their contexts. This will go quite a way toward clearing up the occasional sentence that tries to hard to be complex and ends up looking mangled. A brief example is, " . . .together they giggled similar to the darkest of witches." The phrase "similar to" isn't appropriate here; "like" can replace it without any trouble. An easy way to edit for such things is to read the manuscript out loud to yourself while editing; if it sounds weird on the tongue, it will probably look weird on the page.

Anyway: A solid opening with a few negligible flaws. So far, I endorse this event or product.

I love your story so far...as long as you keep writing it, I'll keep reading it.

I LIKE UR STORY! KEEP ON WRITING!

PLZ WRIGHT MORE. ITRS REALLY GOOD

UPDATE ALREADY! *waves around a chainsaw like a bloody maniac* or else...

aagh, when Tanya is finally the nice one she get slaughtered, by Edward at that.lol

you have to keep going my OCD kicks in alot when the stories i read arnt updated p.s. i like it so please keep going