 Storm Parakaitz 2008-07-18 . chapter 1An ok start, could be a little longer. The first chapter, so it's a bit hard to judge, but these were the thoughts I had while reading:
"For now, he’s true passion is to be in a band" -- not to mention minor grammar error there, there isn't much explaining as to how Miles got the mentality to be in a band in the first place. Speaking of which, if he prefers to go by Miles now, the narration should refer to him as so, especially considering he was introduced to the audience as Miles Prower.
"and most of Sonic’s daring and life-threatening heroisms were simple things such as saving cats from trees, or helping a woman who had their purses stolen" -- good for explaining what's gone on in the time gap, but... those are WAY to simple for even Sonic to be doing, really, not to mention a little cliche don'cha think? XD
Other than that, nothing really jumped at me exceptionally while reading. The concept of the fanfic is a little iffy but the details within are nice and make it an interesting read. I'll keep my eye on it. |