This was written really well.
It did have a lot of time jumps, but the way your introduced each new paragraph left no doubt about the time period you were referring to.
The ending was so sad! :'( I'm a fan of happy endings, but I still enjoyed the entirety of the story.
Good job!!

this is teh awsomesause.
THE awsomesause.
I loved it!

Oh, the ending was heart wrenching, and the whole story was really awesome! lol, this has to be the best one-shot I've ever read. It has all the qualities that a great story needs, and it rally sucked me into the story. When it was over I was almost whining because I didn't want to stop reading, lol. It came to an end perfectly. Thanks for writing this! I had so much fun reading it!

*as per instructions over on LJ*

Wha?! No happy ending for Shuu? Well, hopefully, Kira will be happy after all :) Awesome story. Thanks for sharing :D

Ayano here:

OMG you posted! It's been a long journey, ne?

Once again, love it, Hoshi-san. I'll put up those pictures right away!