Ahahahaha. It's true, Klavier - just admit it. ;D

OH MY GOD! Haha, this is hilarious! Awesome work. Keep at it!

Why can I see this happening in the game? :P It was funny. 'Flaming queen'...Heheh.

hahahahahahaha. this story's great. i fell out of my chair laughing.

HAHAHAHA, WOW.

This is AMAZING. Made my night~!!

XD
BAHAHAHAHAHA. THIS WINS SO HARD.

On a more serious note, I wouldn't worry about the dialog; it sounds fine. In fact, it's just about goddamn perfect. OH, MAN. LAWL.

Amazing...just amazing xD
LOVE your stories, the serious and crazy ones ^^

And is California really that bad? TT.TT