i like it! i love severus! i don't have any critism, but i will say i like your writing style.

it's beautiful - love your onatomenopia (sp?) - makes it sounds so pretty "chink!" however there are some places you need apostrophes like 'snape's' etc :D
all in all, lovely :P also love how you don't always use snape's name - diff variations like 'tobias's son' and 'dumbledore's former slave' (though I don't quite agree with that one)
anie.