This is my first lord of the ring cross over story so far I am enjoying it. The word I think is a quiver.

I'm lost of words. Your Story is more than Fantastic. Please continue it as soon as possible.

I hope you come back to this because it looks really interesting.

The thingie that holds the arrows are called quiver

It seems it's going to be a goos story, I like this first chapter, so please keep writting. Also the thing that holds the arrows is called quiver (I'm not sure if I spelled it right tough)

This is cool! I didn't see the first version of your story but I love the new one! Keep it up!

Thanks to Rising Sunrise ans Purple Hat ofr helping me correct my mistakes. The new chapter 1 should be posted later today and sorry for the mistakes its been two years since I've re-read the series and hope to have a better story soon.

Hermione's parents didn't die... and even if they did, in what year according to you?

Also, describing an OC in the first paragraph is a bad start. Try describing what they were doing before they went to Dumbledore for example. Or simply tell us what they're going to do there... and make it realistic. Dumbledore telling them to go to some lost kingdom which could be dangerous, doesn't make any sense. Dumbledore always tries to keep his students safe, why would he send them to their possible graves?

Arnor isn't "a lost kingdom" and Naria certainly isn't its heir. Aragorn is. As a decendent of (among others) Isildur and Elros he's the rightful heir to the throne of Gondor and Arnor.

Gandalf doesn't have any brothers, because he doesn't have parents. He is one of the Maia, created out of thin air (well, not exactly, but to put it simply) so he does not have siblings.

Also, you need to use description. A pendant with a 'strange symbol'? Describe the symbol in the way Hermione of Naria would think of it. Also... well, you need to use description all over: the room, the pendant, the guy on the wall (what kind of name is Alveon anyway?), the journey to another world (which is probably going to explode now your characters are there... they just don't belong them and you take Aragorn's throne... poor Ranger from the North) etc. etc. Use description and do some research to both worlds. Neither Dumbledore nor Gandalf would take some innocent girls to a world where war is upon them.

Aragorn is heir to Arnor, as well as Gondor. If you're going to take canon, tear it up into tiny pieces, and jump up and down on it, I think you should work the explanation into your story.

Also, Gandalf has no brothers. He is a divine being, who has been in existence since before the beginning of time. What on earth is an Alvean brother anyway?