That was adorable, and incredible, so well written and just amazing. It was more than just fluff, absolutely, just, wow.

i would love to read more about their story!! i love the way you wrote it.

OMG! I love this story! It as so beautiful I think I might cry! hehehe :P

Aw...that was...that was lovely. And Fiyero's 'excessive nonchalance' was beautifully pulled off; everyone was in character; absolutely wonderful!

Gorgeous fic :)

Lovely...altho there is one tiny thing I don't get
Elphaba says Galinda 'oggles' her boyfriend, but Avaric is aware of her single status.
Other than that, luv it!

Some minor mistakes:


"'You always say that,' and which that Avaric rolled over and returned to his nap."
- I think it's supposed to be "and with that".

"No blazing heat confining one indoors; no dry spells that cooked the ground to sizzle like a fire; no rogue sandstorms that sweep the dry land like angry dogcatchers."
- I love the similes, but the people of Oz have no clue what a dog is, so therefore there would be no dogcatchers.

"'Oh, trust me Elphie, it’s just beautiful over here. You’ll love the view,' Galinda burst through the forest on the other side of the river right as Fiyero let go, streaking through the scene before her.

Elphaba smirked behind her roommate. "'Not exactly the view I was expecting Galinda, but I suppose ogling your boyfriend will occupy you long enough to let me read in peace. You could have dispensed with the elaborate scheme though.'"
- I laughed so hard at that. That was perfect. I love the way you do these things! (Oh yeah: there should be a comma after "expecting"!)

"Elphaba raised an eyebrow, pointing toward his clothes across the river. 'I don’t think that’s all you’re missing Fiyero.'"
- There should be a comma after "missing". But I love Elphaba's comments, so nonchalant and unsurprised at streaking boys.

"'And if I did?' she bluffed, trying to gage his intentions."
- I believe you mean "gauge" instead of "gage".


Oh, I love the bittersweet ending, it makes me want to cry and hug both of them at the same time. I LOVE IT.

*faves*

Aw! That was so...CUTE!! And it's written so well; you should be proud of your skillz. :)

yayy! it's amazing. i think i would maybe write it a different way but it was still really good especially at the end where you talked about as long as your mine and made a connection to it it was just great. thank you so much. =D

I rarely review but for this story I'm happy to make an exception. The other feedback you've received pretty much sums up my thoughts. I envy you for the smooth ease you construct the dialogues with--obviously it results in clever and believable bantering. Great choice of ending too; you gave the entire story a huge twist, making it all in fact terribly sad. Heartbreaking but wonderfully done. Kudos, you moved me.

I loved that. it was perfect.

“I think I’ll stay right here on the heterosexual side of the river, thanks.”
--ha! Thats a great line, but I have to admit I was a little disapointed, because to my (sick, sick mind) they almost DID sound like they were flirting, and while I never thought about it before that pairing would be almost adorable. Huh. *ponders*

“Oh, that’s a new one,” Fiyero teased. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a girl ask me to put my clothes back on.”

“Yes, well, riveting though you may be,” she paused to let her sarcasm drip through, “I’m afraid Galinda will not regain her powers of speech until you are reclothed.”
-:) love the banter
"First, do you really think Avaric’s corny lines can compete with my charm?”
- again, LOVING THE BANTER

“You’re her boyfriend,” Elphaba told him as if he were dense. “That’s kind of the point.”

-A) spot on in-character B) that line, FOR THE WIN.

Very good work.

GAH! Big stupid corny jaw drop. Seriously. Wow.

“Let’s not,” came the answering mumble.
>hehe. I love av.

Avaric yawned heavily, “Fiyero, mate, don’t get me wrong, but you’re annoying.”
>LOL!

“Not that anyone can embarrass you anyway,” Avaric replied, referring to the numerous pranks the boy had tried to pull on him only to discover Fiyero’s rather excessive nonchalance.
>What a lovely description of the both of them, especially Fiyero.

“I think I’ll stay right here on the heterosexual side of the river, thanks.”
>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

“Picnic,” Galinda squeaked, her eyes still traveling Fiyero’s dripping body.
>We hear ya, Glin.

Elphaba raised an eyebrow, pointing toward his clothes across the river. “I don’t think that’s all you’re missing Fiyero.”
>He's not going to reclothe, Elphie. He's TRYING to seduce you.

“Yes, well, riveting though you may be,” she paused to let her sarcasm drip through, “I’m afraid Galinda will not regain her powers of speech until you are reclothed.”
>Too true. I love her sarcasm.

“How could I deny my passionate lust? And in front of your girlfriend, no less.”
>I love how she actually has passionate lust. In front of who I was assuming at this point was his ex girlfriend.

I loved their exchanges about her allergy, and then about Av and Galinda off alone together and how Fiyero reveals that they're not together anymore. And I so feel for Elphie wondering why Galinda didn't tell her. Denial, perhaps? Hmm...

Ooh sexy tickling!

He broke off a blue flower, trailing its petals against her arm lightly. “I bet it suits you, all that blue and you. Like the river and the trees.” She blushed, and he tucked the flower behind her ear.
>I love how he gets right to it, with the flower trailing and the soft words.

He leaned over her, his fingertips brushing over her neck. “No, I believe I was flirting with you, actually.” Her eyes widened in shock, and he smirked at her a moment before letting his lips tease hers lightly. “Why, you got a problem with that?”
>GO FOR IT YERO!!

“Too bad.” He leaned in for a gentle kiss, just enough to make him forever fixated on her amazing lips for the rest of his life. He never got the chance to study her reaction because the others arrived noisily, and they broke apart quickly. Fiyero tried to get Elphaba alone to talk about it, but she managed to avoid him until her fate and that damn letter came to sweep her away from him.
>Um. What?? Musicalverse separation?? My heart is breaking??

It was years later, as fugitives that they wandered into that same patch of woods in the dead of night. He would recognize it anywhere, so often that memory had played in his mind. He held her again underneath the stars, this time with a little more than a chaste kiss to occupy him, and again she denied his declaration of her beauty. “It’s not lying. It’s looking at things a different way,” he told her then, and so much was different this time. She was so much older, and not just in years. And he…he felt like a different person entirely who had never even met his old self.
>How intriguifying... This is really like a stolen scene, though I never would have guessed it till the end, I would have just thought it was AU. But it fits so well!! You're SUCH a genius! (As if I'm surprised)

Yet so much was still the same. She was still so beautiful. He still adored her. He still marveled in how perfect they fit together.
>Ah

And they still had such little time.
>And this was when my heart shattered.

Absolutely BRILLIANT oneshot. Love it forever.

d~

Oh my god, that last line just killed me. This was so light and sweet and happy, and then that! Argh!

Beautifully done!

wow. Just... wow. and linking that whole thing up to ALAYM without actually spelling it out? Just gorgeous. I absolutely worship your writing. =)