Nice story.

the first part was very poetic and captivating. it drew you in and made you want more and i liked how you ended with the same directional quotes.

Wow. That's pretty amazing.

This is unbelievable good; I especially loved the lyrical style you used. It actually reminds me of works by a (very talented) New Zealand author we all study at school: ever heard of Witi Ihimaera? No? Never mind. Fantastic, anyway.

interesting. a bit oddly worded, but not in a negative way. i do so love this pairing when they're young! it's so sweet on sev's part... loved the last part right before the little "epilogue" at the end. that was especially cute.

aww what a sweet story!

i really like your writing style-its very unique!

What a sweet, innocent little piece. It was very well-written. I loved that sense you give the reader, of being a onlooker peeking into a little snowglobe with these two lost souls. Aww. I have never read anything so... timeless.
"Just slip out the window, sneak through the back door, and run away to it; but remember to send a note ahead, held in a beak or clutched in able talons, for solitude is not always the best asylum."
Best lines.
Off to find this sanctuary 'halfway to Spinner's End and halfway from Buckthorn Hollow.'

If only they could have stayed there.

This was lyrical and gorgeous, evoking an almost magical sense of innocence and possibility. I loved it! The second-person passages work very well to create a near-fairy-tale voice of narration. It feels like the last children's story Severus and Lily ever got to share, and I am glad that it went beautifully, unpredictably well for them. Thanks so much for sharing this!