I really liked both parts of the story, I just found Mercedes' slightly lacking. I thought a little bit more fluff would have been nice, and having Mercedes tell Ingway her true name kind of takes out the suprise. Also, maybe Ingway saying that he loved her instead of him saying that he was dying. Oh, and thank you for writing something Gwendolyn and Onyx. I expected alot more stories with those two. He was a bit out of character like you mentioned, and I'm glad you said something or I would have been completely disappointed with how OOC he was. I have to say...I did squee with satisfaction when you had Onyx kiss Gwendolyn. I kind of wish he did that in the game, you know? Anyway, you did a great job, and if was a pleasure to read. I hope my review wasn't too serious. lol

Good Story so far. Update soon, I want to see what happens next.

I've always loved Mercedes and Ingway. Mercedes is one of the few people who actually use a bow/crossbow that I can stand in a video game. When I saw her ending, I kind of wished she had a happier one, but during the credits with the big tree clutching her crossbow was really sweet of the game makers.

I almost like Gwendolyn and Onyx as a couple. Oswald is better, but those two are kind of cute together.Onyx in general was a cool character for being a side character type deal. Its very much like the game, so I can't say too much other then the little snippets you put in were good. I'm hoping for your second piece to see what kind of twist on things your going to do.

Cool! It was good, and really well written, but I have to say I didn't really understand it. Probably because I've never even gotten close to finishing this game.

So, besides the fact that I was completely lost during the whole thing, I liked it!

NICE JOB! ;D