Once again, very well written. Short and sweet. And I kind of like the irony of how Joel is taking the time to write a letter, even though in it he is saying how he no longer cares. Perhaps it's just denial? Anyway, great job yet again.

Hi!

Woah, that was very nice, but I have a few concerns. In that first paragraph especially it should really emphasise the emotion, but there area lot of what I would call 'dull verbs'. By that I mean 'colourless' or bland words--we use a lot and don't really portray any kind of feeling or emotion, rather lower the pacing and fluidity of text. Consider:

What would you rather here? "He was walking sadly around the room." Or "He moped around the room." It stops unnecessary adjectives and descriptive language.

On a couple of occasions you emphasise a word with capitalisation. Think to yourself--is that what you want? I consider it an easy way out of detailed emotions and words, to portray how our character feels at this point. Let's assume you publish this, regardless in a book you will not be able to use capitals so without good cause, think about expressing your character more powerfully.

Best,
-Mark

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