This is a good story. On question? Why is Zelda a real...well, yeah. I'm not gonna say it. And two, When is she going to change? So, it was two questions. sue me. Any way, it's really good so far. I know, first person can be hard. However, it let's you really see the persons personality if you do it right. try to imagine how Zelda would feel, and make her say that. Keep up the good work and update soon!☺

I have 1 word to say OMG...

I like it, actually. Nice job, and keep up the good work!

its very weird and i hate where Link is moving too fast. relationship wise...

Hello again!

I'm going to be your new enemy when it comes to reviewing and criticizing. ;) Just kidding.

Alright, I've definitely seen a lot improvement from Zelda's character compared to the first chapter. It's much better. I feel her personality is the same as it was from chapter one. So yay for you. You get a thousand points for that. :D

However, I'm still appalled to see Link acting so friendly towards Zelda in this chapter. Considering the attitude he gave her in the third chapter, I feel that his character is just... either bi-polar or you're really forcing a change on his personality. Whatever it is, it just didn't strike me as realistic or true to his personality from the character you gave him when you introduced Link.

Also, I think that since you had Link climb up to Zelda's bedroom so soon in the story and he knows where she lives as really weird. And the reason why I say "weird" is because it's very unexplained. How can Link, a commoner in this story, know where Zelda lives? And more importantly, how does he even know what room she resides in? That kind of stuff bugged me throughout the bottom end of the chapter and I really found that to be unrealistic in a story. As romantic as the idea sounds (considering it's like Romeo and Juliet), it just doesn't seem to be something I view as "cute" or "fluffy" and I don't see how something like that can be achieved in such a short period of time.

Once again, I hope you take my criticism not too harshly. I really do hope to see your writing improve throughout this story, and I'll still be looking forward to read more! So keep on writing, and I shall wait for your update! :D

-BKP

I love Zelda's personality! She's so...spunky. =D

Ok..I noticed that you usually let Zleda say like "do a man," but I think you should vary it, because sometimes do sounds kind of awkward, so you should throw in some "screw a man," or something like that. Although screw might be a bit crude for Selda (she is a princess after all) I think it would sound better than do.

Hope I helped! Great chapter, like always, and update soon!

I don't generally write in first person for a reason, lol, because it is incredibly difficult. But you're doing a nice job with it, so more power to you. I liked this chapter a good deal, so be sure to keep it up. ^.^

I think you're doing a great job in 1st person! (I remember writing my first story in first person; it was a nightmare!) ^_^ Keep up the great work!

Holy cow, Zelda is a total snob, lol. Spoiled brats I cannot stand, but I guess that's what makes her perfect for this role you've stuck her in with her current characterization. Overall I like this story a lot, so I think you're doing a good job with it. Link's inclination against the normal reaction of Zelda's targets is awesome, though her revelation to him seemed a bit rushed. I'm not going to personally consider that a negative effect though, because I think you were trying to emphasize the jumble of emotions Link's presence was putting Zelda in as she failed to stay rational. I'm very curious to see what you have in store with this information already given out, but keep up the great work and I'll be eagerly anticipating the next update! ^.^

Oh snap! :D Keep the chappies coming! The parties gonna be one hell of a read. Just one thing kinda ticked me off. Zelda's dispostion to just reveal herself to Link so quickly kinda blew out the flame of the story. But now that he knows, I guess its cool to see what will follow up :) Sweet continuing job!

Good job keep it up. I really like Zelda's attitude in this fic :)

Aw, that is so cute! Zelda actually has to work in order to get Link. Tee hee! Aw! I really cannot wait to see what will happen in the next chapter. Link had better make an effort in order to find Zelda. =D

Good gracious, what a brat Zelda is!! I can picture a dozen "celebreties" that fit into her character. Anyway, apart from Zelda being rather obnoxious (apart from the odd stirrings of her 'gentler' nature) I really do enjoy reading this fic and I think your style is entertaining so well done! I look forward to reading more...

Well, all I can say is that with the last two chapters (I was wary of whether or not you wanted to criticism) is that you've really changed things around since the first chapter. I'm seriously disappointed with how this fan fic is already turning out. I know you have a lot of potential as a writer, but now I feel you're creating something not entirely fresh and original. If I had to put it this way, I feel as if there is no heart left in your story.

I honestly felt that you had Zelda's character down perfectly within the first chapter and the beginning of the second. However, ever since you wrote about Zelda being attracted to Link and started following him, that's when I felt your fan fic was taking a bad turn. Sure, any fan girl and every girl in the LoZ series would agree that Link is hot, but why is it that Zelda is REALLY attracted to him besides his hotness? Please think about that, how Zelda will change (both personality wise and her views/outlooks on life), and how her relationships will change as well throughout the whole story.

I understand that you want to make this story fast paced, but it's going too fast to the point where I don't feel that this story is realistic. I feel as if you continue at this pace, the relationship between characters will be too rushed and it won't be realistic. I thought that Zelda's character would've been like Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan's throughout most of the story (which was the character you gave her in the first chapter), but reading about her now feels as if she's just changed dramatically compared to the first chapter. As both Wabi and SirJoshizzle have said, the tone and voice does not fit with Zelda's character which is another aspect of your story you need to work on.

Also, I find your last bit about the ball to be slightly confusing. You're saying how Zelda wants Link to come to the ball; however, you also have her father agreeing to get her a suitable date. So how does that guarantee that she'll have Link at the ball? If you're referring to the other kind of date, I'd suggest you change that sentence so that it's clear they mean date as in a day in the month.

Though, I admit that I liked the humorous scene between Mikau's phone call and Link about how Lulu is supposed to be Mikau's stress relief.

I really hope you continue to work on your story, develop your characters more, and figure out what you want out of this fan fic. What is your message to your readers about love, life, and humans (or Hylians in this case) throughout the entire fan fic? I'll be keeping up with your updates, and I wish you luck.

-BKP

Wonderful story i must say!! Good detail. Oh, Zelda, you're such a naughty girl!