Great follow up, I love seeing how these kid/adult characters cope with all that has been put on them.

Great story! I really loved the end!'Two words come floating down the corridor—two words that assure Peter that all will soon be right with the world"Shut up.
It does actually seem very Edmund. It's the sort of thing he would say if he isn't going to break down completely.

And here's more of the magnificent humility for both brothers, this time.

Edmund knows what it's like to be tempted by Jadis. Been there, done that. Much as he's angry with his brother, he can understand him.

And he also knows what salvation is like, better than his brother from experience."I know what it’s like to be—to be tempted by her, and the Lion knows I know what it’s like to give in more than anyone else, but Peter his voice dropped to a whisper—“He saved me! That’s what counts, in the end, and I’m not going to believe he’s stopped doing so just because we forgot it for a while.
This is one of the changes from book to movie that I actually like, and you show why this is adding something valuable to the story. Well done!

And another good writer added to my Author Alert list ...

it was ok but it is quite distracting to the reader when you write in present tense

I loved this. Well done indeed. I don't think it was out of character at all, especially given what Peter had just been about to do, particularly given the hint in the duel that he can babble with the best of them. And your Edmund was just superb. I was looking for just this kind of scene tonight, so thank you so much for sharing it.

Loved it!

Luna

"The fair-haired king sits on the dirty ground of a damp tunnel in Aslan’s Howe, as if commiserating with the tunnel over their mutual empty, cold darkness." Oh, I love that metaphor. So heartrending, so vivid. He's come to the end of himself.

...his voice dropped to a whisper—“He saved me! That’s what counts, in the end, and I’m not going to believe he’s stopped doing so just because we forgot it for a while." Ooh, that's really, really powerful. I have a hard time remembering that sometimes. I have this "East to West" complex that comes up from time to time..."From one scarred hand to the other." I know it, but "time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in."His hand resorting to pounding the sword hilt as he searches for the proper words." I can definitely see Edmund doing this.

He can see his brother fighting a full-fledged smile as turns back to go on his way. Two words come floating down the corridor—two words that assure Peter that all will soon be right with the world“Shut up.” OK, that made me laugh. Which is what I need after a story like this. But it doesn't at all detract from the profoundness of the rest of the story.

Wonderful story! It was positively amazing! You do so well with Peter and Edmund's characters, especially Edmund. Great job! Ila

i loved that scene too! it absolutely rocks! the three best parts of the film to me are
1) edmund killing the white witch and then saying that to his brother

2) emund watching and helpin his bro during the duel.

3) my all time favorite, edward talking back to the lord when he proposes the duel. i bet if he wasn't afraid they would refuse the duel he would have ridiculed them so much more! _

the story is really great _

Heh. Wow. Good job! Great story!
I really like the last bit, it was reall Edmund. ;D

This is excellent! I love how you can dig so deeply into everything without making it boring.
You write these as well as C.S Lewis wrote the originals! Well done!

lol I loved the end!

So THAT'S what SASV stands for. I was confused.
Hey! I didn't notice that play on words! Very cool.

Ouch. Very like Ed to bite his lip and very Peter-ish to notice it.
I liked how Edmund wasn't giving up on Peter all on account of Aslan."It hurts, Peter decided. Being told you’re absolute rubbish at something and the only reason you’ve ever been good at it was beyond your control and the only way you’ll get good at it again is still beyond your control—it hurts beyond measure. -Fantastic!
Great ending. Very Ed! Good job!

shut up! very ed! great job!

This was simply amazing! Thanks so much for writting it!