so sad:(. great story thou

this is nice :D just that himeko had to die again..

Have you ever taken any english classes before?... you writing style is comparable to the works of a monkey with an engrish type writer, (pun intended). please save us all the pain in reading any more of your second rate fan-based love stories and leave the story as it is. it doesn't need little think-you-know-it-alls trying your best to impersonate the writers. they were japenese by the way. you can't do that well at writing because your eyes are full...mhahahahahahahahaha

well you apparently can't write. I'm only here to troll yet I seem to know the canon better than the people writing about it. Also, you left out HOW she died, suicide, cancer, what, ou really need to stop writing.

OH-MY-GOSH!! That was beautiful.*crying I feel so bad for these poor girls! It's always something tradgic! *Blows nose Very good fic.

*cries* th...at was beau...ti..ful T.T

Good story, but sometimes I got lost. It was hard to tell whether this what I'm reading is this or that "present time".
And that sad end made me almost cry (I will shed som tears if I was't at work now with people lookin' at me). One wonder how some parents can be sometimes so stupid...
Something like this really happened to you? It must had been interesting experience.

Yeah superb depressing ending.
Exactly what I was looking for.
I was praying to Orochi xD that the story won't end in a crappy happy end.
Nice work ;) *THUMBS UP*

>__

sad ending but the story was still good

Hmm. Interesting. You used a lot of emotion in this piece, I can tell. But there are some things you can do to make it better.
First of all, spell check. A lot of misspellings can be avoided and the audience won't be distracted by it. Then, keep your pacing. You're rushing through the scenes that could be used to develop character, tone, feeling.
Finally, keep your characters in character. Chikane isn't the type of person to curse or is she the type of person to bite back. She is the type of person who does what she wants in a polite manner.
I'm sorry if I offended you with my review. I'm writing fanfics too and I'm also learning the craft. Together, we can help each other become great writers.

I really like your history, it hurts that it has been an oneshot
at the end, I cry

My God! This happened to you! I'm sorry... I really don't know what to say. One thing I can tell you is I'm touched by your story...