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| Zamnandi 2008-07-29 ch 3,  | abuseYour fic was fairly good for the first two chapters, and even though I'm not a Kataang fan, I can see them getting to that point after that much time. My one question was, What happened to Suki that Sokka feels he has to chat up girls? Just about chapt. 3 - it started off okay for a lemon, but you made one fatal flaw. "He lifted himself up, and looked at Toph as if to ask if he might remove it. Toph nodded her head, even helping him in freeing her of the garment." You had Toph respond to a visual cue. In doing so, you took her entirely out of character and destroyed the suspension of disbelief for me. Toph is quite blind and can't exactly earthbend on a bed; there is no way she would have known how to respond to that. Please try to pay closer attention to the details of your character's traits and relationships to make it more realistic and authentic in the future. That is my only major qualm. Ciao ;) |
| mr dood92 2008-07-21 ch 3, | abuseGreat job! One of the best Tokka Fics I've ever read! |
| Heavenly-goddess2 2008-07-13 ch 3, | abuseVery ni nice story! It was so romantic. Nice job with this pairng I say. |
| ChipFest 2008-07-13 ch 3, | abusehm. I loved the lead up to the confessions. It was pretty original. :D You probably could have stuck all the chapters in one if you had wanted to... it just woulda been a very long oneshot. but, Yeah. Good Tokka shot. Cheers, Chip~ |