You said this was supposed to be longer and have some romance, but you probably know well enough that these guys don't always live long enough to get the goodies. Looks like that's what happened here. Hope they'd said what they wanted to say way earlier... sorry she didn't make it for you to write it differently. mc

Nu Elena! >_

Really good, I kind of wish she hadn't died though...

But, you have anice style. You can be very serious and you can be abso-freakin-lutely funny too! In fact, you can even be funny during a serious scene. Great job, wish it weren't so short!!

Sg

*sob*


I think that about covers it, and considering I now lack the ability to produce rational thought, it's all that would truly be appropriate. However, when one does not think rationally, they don't know when to shut up-- so I shall continue:

I almost lost it when she got around to seeing Tseng. I don't really know why either: I'm not much of a Tseng/Elena shipper, but their connection (even in simply friendship) astounds me.

Your description of Reeve gave me shivers, but just because I love Reeve times a billion.

Okay I'm done now. It was awesome, and I'm sure that's really all you wanted to hear in the first place.

Oh wait, here we go, a bit of minor concrit- After Elena is shot, you say there are more gunshots-- when i first read it I thought the assassin was shooting again, but when I re-read it, I realized you must be talking about one of the other Turks taking him out. If you added something like a difference in sound proximity? They would be louder if they were coming from say, Tseng, who was standing beside her. I don't know, but I think that kind of explains my reasoning. Think it over- it's so minor it's probably not worth changing, but at least I made an effort, which is always nice to have once in a while.

Flippin' ** this is long. Happy writing.

...
...
...
*Sniff*

Care to change your mind about the one-shot thing? You can make it so she just fainted...or something...DON'T END IT! I LOVE IT! (In part 'cause I love Elena.) Either that, or write another one about her. Okies? Okies. Get to it!

My goodness. That was quite a shock to the system. But I thought it was great. It gives Elena a different look than the usual loud-mouthed rookie she's portrayed as. Giving her life for the people she admires was a nice touch, though it was sad. I really liked it. Hope we read more from you!

Joey

P.S. I saw 'The Notebook' again and like the big fat baby I am, I was crying over it in the same scenes as the first time that I watched it.

Wait a sec... there's no way Elena just died... *sniffs* She's a cool Turk...

This was really well done. Elena taking a bullet for someone... Yeah, I don't think any of us would've seen that coming. I like how you made Rude remove his sunglasses; sure, he wasn't wearing any in AC at one point, but his eyes are always hidden from view...

I like this a lot, even if one of my fave Turks died in the process.

Wow ... that was simply inspiring. It was very poetic, and terribly sad.

Good work!

That was so sad! Still deep though. I loved it!