HEY! I hope u update soon! I love this fic!! and the boshi twins are so IC I can totally imagine then like that!

I love this story I mean it just interseting. And I really happy you wrote this story because I haven't read any other story with Amiboshi and Miaka and I think you did a great job using the charaters personalities. :)

Things are moving along! To answer Amiboshi's question, yes it is possible to fall in love in a week! Whether it's the kind of love that has real staying power is another question...^_~ I wonder what will happen when Amiboshi goes to America?

I enjoyed the interaction between Suboshi and Amiboshi in this chapter- they're definitely twin brothers through and through. It was funny when they had a joint confession, and then silently decided not to speak for the rest of the time. I found that to be very realistic, as well as very much in character.

Regarding your author's note, I'm sorry to hear that the chapters are getting a bit difficult to write. I'm thinking that it might be because of having to write about four characters at once; having to keep track of what's going on with all four can be daunting. Now you've gotten everyone paired up, my suggestion would be to consider narrowing the scope of the fic to one couple so that the readers can really get involved with them. Focusing on one pairing will help you develop all aspects of their relationship without having to worry about what everyone else is doing in the scene. Having Amiboshi off in America would be an excuse to put the focus on Suboshi and Yui...or conversely, if Miaka decides to follow Amiboshi to America, then they'd be alone and away from everyone.

Ah, I'm rambling. Sorry about that! Just a suggestion to take for whatever it's worth to you. ^__~ Did I mention I'm rather partial to the Miaka and Amiboshi pairing? LOL ;D

I look forward to the next chapter, and hope it goes easier for you. Listen to your muse and don't be afraid to change directions with the plot if it's saying you should...writing yourself into a box is a frustrating experience. *Is speaking from experience*

Every good wish,
KL ^__^

AW I LOVE SUBOSHI! He's so cute!

Keep up the good work.

This was a good chapter. i wonder if i'll see any uh...oh some love triangle with tamahome any time soo...maybe?

whatever just keep up the good work

i'm glad they stopped. they've only bn together for 1 week! but i still liked the chapter. i want a boyfriend who can cook good food!

i like suboshi, a man with attitude and spunk@

Hey there Chitas,

I just finished reading both chapters three and four; will review both at once because I want to type while my thoughts and impressions are fresh. ^_~

First off, I like the aura of fun and innocence you're weaving into this story; all four of the main characters sound and act like authentic teenagers. As such, their insecurities and awkwardness in getting to know each other rings true and brings on a sense of nostalgia. (In other words, this kitty isn't so old that she can't remember what it was like to crush on a boy! lol ^_~)

Why am I not surprised that Suboshi is the first to make his move? lol :D Such boldness is very in character for him, and yet I appreciated that he didn't force the issue. He was also quite brave in his using the term 'babe' with Yui...if this was canon and not alternate universe, I have a strong feeling she might have clocked him one for being too familiar. ^~ Amiboshi also seems in character in his approach to dating Miaka. He's very sweet in his shyness. I think Miaka will be very good for his confidence.*nodnod*

The brothers are cat people. Hee. Kinda reminded me of another Siamese I know...^_^ Gotta love 'em! ^_~

The exchanges between Yui and Miaka are fun too; they definitely sound like best friends. ^__^ I also like the subtle humor you put into details like Miaka and Yui being reluctant to sit on the overstuffed furniture for fear of not wanting to leave.

One small beta type concrit: watch out for your verb tenses. Since this is written in third person, you should be using past tense 'exp: he ran' and not present (he runs' in the narrative.


So, with all that said, and now that everyone's paired up...my biggest question is... what's going to happen now? It occurs to me that there are a lot of possibilities for humor in best friends dating twins...cases of mistaken identity, comic misunderstandings, a brother having to fill in for another brother, etc. etc.:D But hey, I don't want to get ahead of you in speculating about plot points, though, so I will contain my curiosity and wait patiently for the chapters to come. ^__~

Take care, and may your muses continue to burn the midnight oil. *grin*

Every good wish,
KL ^_^

You!
I don't know you...
But will you marry me? :]
Haha.
No, but seriously
Thank you so much for posting this story!
I absolutly ADORE Amiboshi! Him and Miaka together is just way too cute :]
Please keep going.
Pretty please?
With lots of sugar coated Boshi twins on top?

Well, color me embarrassed; didn't realize there was a second chapter to read before I reviewed the first chapter! lol ^^

*grins* I enjoyed the classic elements of shoujo with Miaka getting bonked in the head, and you threw in a nice twist with the guy who takes her to the nurse not being the one she's enarmored with, and vice versa.

Again, your dialogue was just great. It moves the story along at a good pace and sounds totally natural, not stilted or scripted. Excellent job!

A word of friendly advice in regards to reviews...just keep posting, and don't worry about review numbers. Many readers can be shy about commenting, or are waiting to see what happens before commenting, or might not have had the chance to leave one yet because of real life being busy (like me.) To be honest, holding chapters hostage for reviews doesn't work, and will actually work against you if people resent having to pay a 'ransom'. ^__~

You're doing a good job, just keep posting. Persistence, word of mouth and visibility goes a long way in building a readership. ^_^

Every good wish,
KL

I'm really liking this set up and the pairings--there's a distinct lack of Ami/Mia and Yui/Suboshi fics. It makes me happy that someone has stepped up to explore these alternatives. *grin*

The Boshi twins are favorites of mine, and I think it'll be interesting to see how they relate to Miaka and Yui in the real world. I confess to being very curious as to why Yui and Miaka don't seem to recognize the guys...but I imagine that will be answered in future chapters? (If this is an Alternate Universe story, then please disregard that comment. ^_~)

I enjoy your dialogue, especially between the brothers. They sound like very authentic teenage guys. ^_^

My one suggestion is to check your paragraph formatting towards the end of the chapter; a new paragraph should begin after Amiboshi's retort to his brother.

What you have:
“Su,” Ami sighed lowering and shaking his head, “what the hell am I gonna do with you?” Five minutes later, Miaka and Yui emerged from the same exit, talking and laughing loudly about everything.

Corrected format:

“Su,” Ami sighed lowering and shaking his head, “what the hell am I gonna do with you?”

Five minutes later, Miaka and Yui emerged from the same exit, talking and laughing loudly about everything.

I also liked the subtle touches of humor in this; the idea of the professor bolting out the door along with his students really made me laugh. :D

I look forward to seeing more chapters to this story and the other ones you've written for FY. Although my own projects sometimes prevent me reviewing in a timely way, I'll do my best to keep up, and in every case, I'll be keeping an eye out for updates...:D

Every good wish,
KL

rarar! please update! i wanna read more!

by the way, just something I've noticed, fanfics that are over completed series tend to not get as many reviews as the ones still going. people get bored with them, because they just don't change anymore. I'll be watching for more, k?