Oh O.o well done! I have to admit this sent chills down my spine and I'm finally happy someone did a UoKure, even if it was angtsy! I DON'T CARE! if you don't want Tokyopop to take forever on creating the last volume of Fruits Basket go online to . They have all the chapters of Fruits Basket.

Dear Cady,

Your wonderful short story of “Weeping Sparrows” is imaginative and well-crafted. I really liked the idea of a symbolic correspondence between the bird and Kureno. Arisa’s sorrow over the bird, her anger with herself for being sentimental and the tender way you describe the dead bird – without using a lot of silly fluff – are all strong features of this excellent short tale. You let your main character reveal her emotions through actions rather than telling us what she felt. That’s sophisticated writing and you have done it very well. Bravo!

Okay, suggestion.

I was a bit puzzled over the ending. First, if Arisa’s friend was in any way, shape or form sensitive, she wouldn’t have casually dropped the bomb on Arisa in that way. Does she not like Arisa? Even if Tohru wasn’t aware of Arisa’s romantic attachment, which I guess she wasn’t, it would be a brutal thing to say, “Oh, by the way, your friend (or even acquaintance) is dead!” Also, there’s a stylistic problem with the ending. The good – very good – part is the way you show Arisa’s shock. You don’t want to lose that. However, it’s a bit too heavy-handed for Tohru to tell her about Kureno’s death at the very place where Arisa found the bird.

Consider this sequence: suppose that on the following day you have Arisa go back to the store in a dazed state. Why is she dazed? We don’t know. Leave it a mystery. She sees the place where the bird died and collapses right there. She weeps uncontrollably. Tohru, who has been following her, is begs to know what has happened. We still don’t have a clue. Her boss comes out and joins in imploring her, ‘What is wrong, Arisa?’ Finally, he turns to Tohru and says, “What happened to Arisa?” Tohru says – last lines – “Her friend, Kureno, died. I had no idea the news would affect her this way!”

Arisa rocks and moans, “My bird! My poor, poor bird!”

Okay, well, maybe you can improve on that, but the idea would add more drama and the connection between the bird a Kureno would be – zap! – right at the end. Like a punch line!

Blessings,

Didactic

PS – I sent you an e-mail with mechanical and stylistic remarks. They are for your help in improving the small details of what is an excellent story!

aww... nice work. i like how you gave uo and kureno that kind of special connection.

ah omg i read volume 20 a few days ago, and the ending freaked me out, cos Uo and Kureno are one of my all time favorite couples! And they totally can't happen if kureno bleeds to death because of stupid ** akito >=( so yeh.. i'm one of those people who is really hoping that it was just a random bird...

man... sucks how the next volume isn't out til november... *cries*

haha enjoy waiting i guess. It sucks because you used to be able to read it online like at onemanga, but I think they had to take fruits basket off.