Reviews for Little Wonders

Reviews For: Little Wonders - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Heian Edenwood 2008-08-10 ch 9,	abuseHmm... nothing much I can comment about here. You're doing good. :) Update soon. ;)
Maverick Point 2008-07-30 ch 9,	abuseQueen has every right to express her opinion (or his, I don't know) about this work. It's only fair considering a large number of people on this site like to randomly write things like "Awesome." and nothing else. Personally, I think it's a good thing that someone says something other than the normal pre-programmed, positive autoresponse. Some of the grievances listed I simply cannot agree with due to the fact that I think this story has a lot of potential. There's creative license taken, sure, and the characters may not be exactly how they were in the game, but isn't that a good thing? If by the age of 22 and above, you are the same person you were when you were seventeen, I think perhaps you should go see some sort of shrink, and I don't mean that in a nasty way, it just doesn't make sense. In fact, if a friend of mine had not matured since he or she was in their senior year of high school, I would be highly alarmed and deeply concerned. As for the whole technical issue of Rinoa not knowing Zell and Selphie's names...pish posh. Does it really bother you that much? You must hate AU fics. As I said, it's okay for someone to hate a story. An author cannot please everyone. I'm sure the author here appreciates your review -- I know I would, but a story (especially a fanfiction) shouldn't make you angry. There's not reason to get truly upset. That's what the little x in the top right of your browser is for.
Anon 2008-07-29 ch 8, anon.	abuseI do hope you continue writing, despite what other reviewers say, it's not like their work is any better(insert rollie eyes) Yeah, I said it. I can understand why people say Squall is out of character, but they seem to skip the part where Squall and Rinoa have been together for YEARS, in some of your chapters. And that was YOUR version of how Squall realized his feelings for Rinoa. Squall has been a loner for HIS HOLE LIFE OH EM GEE HE LOVEZ NO1! I'm sorry, his whole life? He's 17 for godsake, I don't really remember anything past the age 10. He's HAS his whole life ahead of him. Some people are just too obsessed with the cookie cutter ideas, and those people are no fun. There are some mistakes and inconsistencies yes, but I srsly love every chapter. I check your livejournal daily to see if you've updated there first. There are very few well written and entertaining Squall and Rinoa fics on nowadays and I'm glad I found this one. I do sincerely hope you continue writing.
Queen000 2008-07-28 ch 9,	abuseOkay, now I have to say something... I've read this story recently, from first to seventh chapter, and I wasn't impressed. I didn't post a review because I was so furious about it that I knew it would come out as a flame and I didn't want that to happen, but now I feel I can't stay silent any longer because otherwise I will explode. My problem with the first chapter is the fact that she should not have met with Zell or Selphie or heard any of their names. Why? Because aside from Squall, she didn't recognize ANY of them when they were introduced during the Timber Mission. Obviously she recognizes Squall because she danced with him, but she couldn't have been talking with Selphie or meeting with Zell because she would have mentioned it already! I know there's poety license when it comes to writing, but if you're writing post or in-game stories within the same universe, then obviously it has to be believable and consistant with the plot. The whole conversation with Seifer is okay as it leads up to further conflict in later aspects of the game. The second chapter I have one tiny problem with; while i find it feasible that Squall would be conflicted about going to see Rinoa, he doesn't admit that he loves her until it's time for her to leave with the Esthar people to get locked up in the Sorceress' Memorial. That's jumping past a whole section of the story arch by making him realize it at that point. Moreover, the reason he spent time with her was because he felt guilty that she was in that state and while he was completely hooked by her, he never admitted it to himself at that part in the game. Everyone else knew, but he didn't acknowledge it yet. Nevertheless, it was much more believeable than chapter 1 and I applaud you in that respect. Third chapter: Squall was Out of Character. I know he's changed since the games end, but C'MON! Be realistic about it. He admitted to her on the bridge that he cares about what other people think about him and that's not gonna change overnight. Moreover, he's acted the better part of a statue for the better part of his life, and that's not gonna change overnight either. Just because it's been a few months doesn't mean he's gonna change that once just because. Fourth and Fifth chapter: I have two words to sum up my feelings for these two chapters: bad description. For further detail: i was disappointed with the lack of description or the glossed over description (he told her... she said...). When you say there are masterbation parts in the chapter, I wanna read the whole thing instead of 'he was masterbating'. While you didn't do that, you failed to keep the mood consistant, and that's what bothers me. You did better in chapter Four, but it was still severely lacking. If you wanna write a lemon, then you've gotta be comfortable going through the motions of it. Try reading other stories with lemons if you're not entirely sure. Chapter Six: I actually didn't have a problem with this chapter at all; it was feesible, well done and amusing. Getting Rinoa a present he would think she'd like but in actuality she doesn't is just something Squall would do since he isn't all that practiced in the art. It was cute, and I did enjoy it. Seventh Chapter: This was the major reason why I was so angry when I finished reading. It was insanely short. There was no reason for the chapter to be, what, half a page long? If you're gonna do something like that, please, please make it much longer. We know there was a party. We know they snuck out. That's about it. Having a chapter like that makes me feel that you are lazy, whether it's true or not, and it makes me think 'oh, if you're not gonna put the effort in writing this out, then why should I bother put the effort into reading'. That's what makes me mad because almost everyone on ffnet seems to do this these days. It's not just you; I get ** everytime I read something that makes me feel that way, and it's a shame that it happens so often as of late. Eighth Chapter: Despite my gut telling me to give up, I got curious enough to read the eighth chapter. It was definitely better than the seventh chapter, but not by much I'm afraid to say. Squall was once again out of character, and the prospect of them being the ones to own the land in Centra, while nice since it'd be cool to live there, disregards the rest of the orphanage gang's right to it, since they were all raised there. And why would Cid and Edea just decide to give Squall and Rinoa the right to it? While yes, Cid seemed to favour Squall and Seifer throughout the ages, I doubt they'd make it that obvious. And I cringe whenever Squall says the word 'silly' as something to call someone else. For instance, 'our house, silly', makes me cringe. I can't see him saying something like that. Selphie I can see. Rinoa I can see. Quistis might be stretching it. But not Squall. Ninth Chapter: I have to admit, I didn't read all of it. When I first saw the chapter title, I was thinking 'Oh god no! please don't tell me that the author is going to do something like that.' I read a couple of paragraphs and that's when I opted to finally speak (er... type) my mind. Rinoa is anti military. Has been since she joined the forest owls. While SeeD is mostly a mercenary-for-hire organization, it still eminates the feel of the military. It might be nicer to look at as a package when compared to Galbadia's army, but it is still military. That being said, Rinoa would NEVER want to join, even if it was just to be able to stay with Squall. It goes against everything she stands for, even if she did hire SeeD to help the Forest Owls out. From what we've learned of her in the game, Rinoa doesn't believe in doing the right thing because they're getting paid for it. She believes in doing the right thing because it is the right thing and that's how she would see something like that. I did get a glimpse of the ending and she actually became a SeeD and I don't like it. Not only does it go against Rinoa's nature, it makes her a walking contradiction; she's a Sorceress who's new goal is to take out Sorceresses... hm... I'm sorry, that doesn't quite sit well. I know a Sorceress came up with the idea of SeeD, but you don't see Edea signing up to join. I didn't read the rest of the chapter because I figured it would simply be a waste of my time and, chances are, you probably won't hear from me (regarding this story) again. What else is there to say? I remember in your summary, you mentioned how this story was going to be entered for a 100 chapter story contest? I'm not sure you're going to make it that far to be honest, because, 1, your chapters are short and that's probably the only reason you're going to reach a hundred chapters and, 2, you keep jumping far ahead and making all these huge decisions for the characters, that by the time you reach forty chapters, you'll probably have run out of ideas (and that's if you even get that far). It doesn't look like you're pacing yourself very well and I can already see that you're going to run into problems in the future. Well, I guess that's about all I can say. Please don't take any of what I said personally; this is just how I feel. My friend told me about this story and said I should give it a shot and I decided to take her word for it, but I did feel let down. I'm sorry if this review offends you, but I'd much rather have left it off with my reasons why I don't like this story, rather than go with my first instinct and flame you (which wouldn't explain why I feel the way I do, it would have just consisted with a lot of 'you suck's. Keep writing anyway; that's the only way you'll improve in the long run. ciao waves Queen0
chrisVIII 2008-07-28 ch 9,	abuseIt was a great prompt, you nicely picked up the challenge :) There was action, believable, there was humor, there were great descriptions, it was excellent !
eolhcsullivan452 2008-07-26 ch 9,	abuseI LOVE this story! This has got to be the best Squall and Rinoa one I've ever read! They really are the best couple^^ And I love how you wrote the first chapter. It was written so well. And I love the way you end each. And Squall and Rinoa are so in character. Wow, I'm speechless. Please update soon! -Shanna
Emerald-Latias 2008-07-26 ch 9,	abuseHehe. I liked the 'Whew!' prompt. Just about sums it up nicely, don't you think? (Either that or 'relief' would have been a good one) But on a more serious note, I enjoyed seeing the 'other' side of Rinoa and Squall's relationship, the one where they're interacting on the SeeD/business side of things (or how they are in the outside world, when they're not in their own little one, you know?). It contrasts the subject matter of most of one-shots and balances it out. Even still, for a serious situation I liked the little bits of humour here and there lightening up the serious nature of the test. On the same note, I can totally see Squall would fail his girlfriend on a silly little technicality such as that. That'd be something he'd do for sure. Hehe. Regardless of that, the concept of the 'bond' was very believable and so were your descriptions for the battle scene. Keep up the good work as always, -Emerald_Latias
Emerald-Latias 2008-07-23 ch 8,	abuseHehe. Cute. Nice idea to have them build a house in the flower field where Rin had 'brought' him back to three years ago. The retort Rinoa said after Squall mentioned that she'd forgotten the room was funny (they do that a lot, don't they? Haha..). After it had mentioned that there had been something (or a surprise)Squall had not said, I was worried that it'd be a cliched marriage proposal but I'm glad to be proven wrong. In all honesty, 'surprise' marriage proposals can be seen a mile away (that and whenever Rinoa tells Squall she's pregnant, you can usually pick up on that really quickly before she says anything). Hey, maybe you should do one with a really unorthodox manner of doing either to break away from the cliche-ness of it all! Okay, now I'm being silly. You can ignore me if you want. Lol. -Emerald_Latias
chrisVIII 2008-07-23 ch 1,	abuseFirst of, let me apologize for not reviewing sooner... I read all of the chapters as you posted them but decided only today to drop a line and give you my impressions. This reviews is thus general for all the chapters so far. You did a really good job at characterization in the first one, we do not know what happen for sure but indeed, the scene with Seifer could have happened... I particularly like the way you keep the difference between Squall "comander" and Squall "boyfriend/knight". what surprizes me the most is the quietness I feel when I read those pieces, it flows really well, bravo ! I would however precise that to me Linoa was out of character breaking into tears and not getting the clue when he is talking about building a house... I read the other reviews and was surprized to see people found Squall was the one OOC ^^ I guess we all have our own sensibility ;) anyway, keep up the good work ! A+
Maverick Point 2008-07-23 ch 8,	abuseMm, all right. So the characters are completely perfect, but honestly, I don't think it really matters. In the game, you've got quiet, serious Squall who suddenly falls head over heels for the peppy, somewhat childish Rinoa. I love Squall as his normal "lone wolf" self, but if you remember, the boy DID launch himself into the abyss of space to save the girl. That's not exactly something our habitually talkative friend would do under normal circumstances. I think the whole point of the underlying love story that is Final Fantasy VI is that being alone isn't a good thing, and that Rinoa, as annoying as I found her while actually PLAYING the game manged to break through Squall's protective shell and he changed! By God, he did. From dueling with Seifer to smiling and kissing on the balcony. So you could say I like the characterization in these little one-shots. I'm a big fan of overly-serious Squall, but I don't think his mushy-ness with Rinoa is a bad thing. Most of these fics are supposed to be the two of them together, with no other people around. The author showed the difference between Commander Squall around the others in Chapter 6, and Rinoa's Knight in the others. So press on.
Leah 2008-07-23 ch 8, anon.	abusei for one don't feel as though you're not doing either of these characters justice. squall is way too open and overly sappy, so much that i don't even recognize him. it's like he's an entirely different character altogether. romance is good, but remember, there is such thing as too much of a good thing! i think what you're doing is sacrificing thorough characterization for the sake of the sappy love and romance that YOU want. and that just frustrates readers like myself who like to read for characterization and character interaction/dynamic. it's really no fun to me when someone as emotionally complex as squall has been reduced to a sappy mess, hanging on and agreeing with rinoa's every word and idea. i like this pairing, but i'm truthfully not sure i like how you present them to me. which is upsetting, because you seem like a very capable writer! that's just my two cents though i guess. a nice day to you. :)
Maverick Point 2008-07-19 ch 7,	abuseOkay, looking back at my other review, I am embarrassed to see so many random mistakes, and I apologize. Hopefully you got the point. Anyway, I read the two updates on this fic and really liked them. The first one about Squall's "failure" was epic, and very well written. You have a way with starting and ending a piece of writing in perfect harmony. Once again, the characters stay themselves, and the piece seems well planned out. The speaking parts are well written and well timed. The second piece about the wedding party is short and sweet and made me smile. Bravo. Well done.
Emerald-Latias 2008-07-18 ch 7,	abuseOh geeze, I haven't been on the site all day and I stumble across not one, but TWO updates! Sweet... Anyways, I really liked the pair of them because they made me giggle a lot. If there's one thing to be said, you have a knack for writing Squall and Rinoa's characters (not to mention witty dialogue ;D). I could totally see Squall doing -that- badly at picking presents (or being that dense as far as listening to suggestions) yet be clever enough to fix it all in the end. He totally seems like smart but dumb at the same time types, you know? The thing about him wrapping presents really well was oddly amusing. I can just picture him now...Lol. As for the second update, it was short but still packed a punch. I could imagine Rinoa calling Squall 'Mr. Rinoa Heartilly' just to be cheeky. It cracked me up for some reason. Anyways, I hope you keep up the speedy updates. I really enjoy them. -Emerald_Latias
r 2008-07-17 ch 5, anon.	abuseamazing job really well written and a very fun read
Maverick Point 2008-07-17 ch 5,	abuseThis is a beautiful story. So many of these fics are written in odd styles or not planning out correctly. This one was perfect. You did an extremely good job keeping everyone in character and keeping the focus on the words your chose are prompts. The stories were funny and original, and really let us have some insight into the couple's relationship. The promise (or rather apology in your case) or this piece being very long is a good one. Please don't let me down.

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