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| Nugget123 2008-07-26 ch 8,  | abuseI am finding this story very intresting even though i have found myself skipping parts that are repeated and i do find that the spelling mistakes and grammer anoyying but apart from that it is getting better. Leone. X |
| Flowerfairy30 2008-07-25 ch 8, | abuseA name would be a good place to start. Poor kid, all that noise must make her crazy at times. Please update soon. |
| Flowerfairy30 2008-07-25 ch 7, | abuseEW! Gross!! Please update soon. |
| an-liesje 2008-07-25 ch 7, | abusethat was hilarious! gross, but hilarious. “I’m guessing these are yours,” -> whahaha, got me crackin' up =D I like a little bit of morbid humor once in a while =p love the story hun, update soon love, Annelies |
| mysterypoet66 2008-07-24 ch 4, | abuseThis is in no way meant to discourage, because it feels like you've got a plot trying to break through, and it could be a good one. My overwhelming sense is that, despite the use of 1st person, you're having difficulty letting the characters speak for themselves. Try to relax with it. |
| mysterypoet66 2008-07-24 ch 3, | abusecoupla things after reading 2nd & 3rd chapters: i think Owen's pov is one that can be effective. However, it feels like you're glossing this with surface clutter. The plot isn't advancing, and you've yet to get under the skin of the characters. Also, run through spell/grammar check, and when in doubt, look up. I think the concept is solid, but slow down and think it through. |
| bbmcowgirl 2008-07-23 ch 6, | abuseThis is one strange girl but I'm loving the story so far. Judy |
| bbmcowgirl 2008-07-23 ch 4, | abuseLove the story so far. Can't wait lfor more. As far as Owen's fiance goes, her name was Katie. Diane was the girl he fell in love with in the episode 'Out of Time'. Hope this helps. Judy |
| friends-girl2008-Rose10-fan 2008-07-23 ch 6, | abuse"I'm guessing these are yours" LOL This is great. Keep up the good work. |
| Flowerfairy30 2008-07-23 ch 6, | abuseThat was a tad bit disconcerting. "cough, gag, cough, I'm guessing these are yours" I wouldn't be supprized if Ianto didn't pass out right there. At least Jack doesn't cough up the bullets. His body just pushes them out the way they went in. Please update soon. |
| Flowerfairy30 2008-07-21 ch 5, | abuseYou writing is somewhat disjointed and is a little difficult to follow. WHile still interesting, it would help if you stuck to one time line. I don't mean the flash back to her past. I mean jumping from Owen's time persepective back in time to Jack's. Please update soon. |
| friends-girl2008-Rose10-fan 2008-07-21 ch 5, | abuseGood update. Developed well. |
| Solsbury Girl 2008-07-21 ch 5, | abuseMost curious story, I am looking forward to seeing how you develop it. |
| friends-girl2008-Rose10-fan 2008-07-21 ch 4, | abuseNice chapter. A look into Jack, very nice. Update soon |
| Flowerfairy30 2008-07-21 ch 4, | abuseHum! what exactly is going on? I can't wait to see where you are going. Please update soon |