alrighty.

4th stanza, 2nd line, should be 'Too' instead of 'To'

Your rhyme scheme is a bit unclear...most rhyme, but some stray from the pattern. And the only reason I noticed it anyway was because of the last stanza. Where it sounds kinda odd just slamming in. So yeah, work on rhyme scheme later on.

The overall feeling is there, though. Keep at it.

Nice! Hehehe, very angsty. Please write more soon!

fd97

*sniff* Beautiful! (I love that volume, especially the Tatsumi/Tsuzuki parts in it!)

u write YnM too? This is greeat! I cry here too!

i've only seen 3 episodes, so i might not get it, but it was beautiful all the same.

I cried when I first read it, you know I did! *glomps* It's so true and so well written. I adore your poetry, you know I do! *huggles Takiko-sama* I wuv you!

That was really beautiful and sad, but a nice look at Tatsumi's feelings towards Tsuzuki. Great job!

awww...

now if only tatsumi stop being a meanie to tsuzuki and let him off of all those debts plus letting him eat to his heart's content...

sighz...

if only...