this was really good

Ellie, thank you so much for that chapter! This is going to sound overly dramatic, lol, but I enjoyed it so much and loved it so much that I've been having trouble finding adequate words to say so!It was so well written and perfectly described and beautiful and full of meaning and powerful ...it brought tears to my eyes.

I wanted to read Eclipse again this week before Breaking Dawn comes out and last night I was reading Compromise, Trails and Fire and Ice (which are 3 of my all time fav chapters and I've read them all too many times to count), but after all the descriptions of Edward's love for Bella in those chapters and then reading about his love for Bella in your chapter, I fell for Edward Cullen all over again! It was a good night. ;)

I just cannot get over how completely he loves her! I absolutely loved how he kept calling her 'my Bella' throughout your chapter. It was just a small detail, but for me it made all the difference.

Some of my favorite lines:

"The sound of my sin, the sound of an angel falling, the sound of my Bella…changing."--again...so much is said in just those few words and they summed up so well the perfect opening paragraph. "I have been haunted by sound my entire existence.'--of course he has been and of course he would think about that when hearing Bella's tortured cries! It should be so obvious, but I never would have thought to word it that way. :)

"...the plain band on her finger intertwining our hearts, our lives, our destinies till the earth burned and the stars fell out of the sky and in return I could grant her this, literal immortality, decades and centuries of nothing but her and I and love and hope."--Just beautiful. Really.

"...she had only been worried about me, me who was about to murder her, to kill her, to stop her beating heart and pull the last true breath from her lungs."--I know that's exactly how Edward views it and you described it so well! It's going to be so difficult for him to do in Breaking Dawn if/when the moment comes. I always thought the quote from Breaking Dawn that's on the inside of the dust jacket from Eclipse was possibly from their wedding night, but maybe it's from right before Edward is going to change her. Deep down, he must realize that Bella changing is the only way they can be truly be together forever.

"...pleas of my name became the worst form of torture" and "...could do nothing but hold on and wait and hope that when she awoke with blood-red eyes and translucent skin that she’d forgive me…that she’d still love me."--Oh! That line just gave me a chill! I could see it so clearly in my head. Bella changed and Edward worrying that she would regret it and regret choosing him in the end.

The last two paragraphs were just beyond touching! I loved all of the lines, but especially "...becoming forever dead, forever like me.", "...strength of humanity seeped from her veins", "I counted eternity by her heart beats...", "...the story of our love...", "...nights of caresses and days of laughter...", "...two hearts broken by my folly, healed only by her courage" (that describes New Moon perfectly in just 11 words!!)

The last two 2 sentences were beautiful. I'm so happy Edward has such a perfect memory so all those human Bella memories he can have forever and hopefully help Bella retain them as well. "My Bella was dead, long live my Bella." *sigh*

You truly expressed Edward's struggle with Bella changing, but like you said, also the hope.

Thanks again!! :)

...and the song lyrics are ideal! I can see why you decided to do this challenge with Twilight.

Okay, first off, I have to say, that was beautiful. Angst+Edward=Ftw! (for the win)

also, you did miss a line in Snow White Queen..after it says "I can't believe you'd ask these things of me" it says "you don't know me"

Sorry to be critical, I really hate that part of me, but I just thought I'd point it out (-evanescence superfan-)

Beautifully written. Great job (as always)! :)

Ellie,
Since I got an early preview of (most) of these chapters, you've heard my reviews. I can't say much about Twilight, since I have not read the books *insert gasp* BUT you have written a beautiful, eloquent, lovelorn series of vignettes that are absolutely delightful to read.

xo,
Audrey

ps- Sues is awesome. She reviewed my HSM story "You and I" that was most unfortunately deleted by . I remember when they sent their email letting me know it had been taken down, my biggest regret was that all her lovely reviews were now gone :(

pps (since obviously we're 8 yrs old again! haha)- I miss you!

This chapter was definitely angsty (which I always love), but slightly strange?? Not at all! You did a great job of expressing your inner Bella!:)

I just felt sick after I read chapter 3 of New Moon for the first time. I remember just sitting there thinking over and over, 'he left, how could he just leave??'. Then when I flipped the next few pages and it was just October, November, December, January. Ugh. That was heartbreaking!! Poor Bella. :( You know, I was just thinking that I'm sure Edward is so happy and grateful for the opportunity to marry Bella so that he can really prove to her that he will always be there. I'm sure he still is trying to find a way to make sure she knows 110% that he will never leave again. Marrying her and then, hopefully changing her, should ease his conscience a little bit for his horrible mistake (though I don't think he will ever forgive himself). Man--the amazing, awesome, exciting, squeal and jump for joy worthy news today of the wedding is sidetracking me! :)

Anyway...the Abyss is a perfect description for those few months and what a great song choice! The lyrics you posted really just fit so perfectly!

I really, really, really loved the second last paragraph when you talk about Bella's room; what it once meant to her and the emptiness that is there now. Each sentence was just so powerful and meaningful, I honestly could not even pick a favorite line. They all are just so descriptive that I could just totally and completely feel it. (That's why I love the Twilight books so much because I can feel them so easily.) Excellent, excellent job!!

I have to say that these mini chapters are giving me just the Twilight fix I need until Breaking Dawn is finally released!

Thanks Ellie!

...Though I would still love to read more even after it's released. :)

Pure awesome. "A thousand silky ballots" really stood out to me. You did a fantastic job.

i loved this one!

Okay Ellie, writing this chapter was just so unfair! I have been trying really hard not to get my hopes up for Breaking Dawn. I am 99% sure that at some point in the book we will get the wedding/honeymoon night, but that 1% chance that it won't happen is still there in my mind. After reading 'The Flame' though, if it doesn't happen I will just be utterly, completely, entirely disappointed!! Your chapter was so great that if there isn't a comparable scene in Breaking Dawn I think I'll just send your version to Stephenie Meyer so she can see how it should be done. :)

I'm am so happy that you wrote this one from Edward's POV. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am looking forward to Midnight Sun as much as I am to Breaking Dawn. I have just fallen 100% for Edward Cullen and I'm always wondering what exactly is going through his head. He accuses Bella of 'editing' so much and though, after Italy, he's better at admitting to Bella how he feels, I'm sure he's probably the worst character in the book for editing his thoughts! haha

This chapter was just AMAZING!! From the great song choice to the last sentence I was in Twilight heaven...Edward and Bella heaven to be exact. :) My heart literally fluttered when I read "now Cullen I reminded myself, now and forever Cullen".

I am so thrilled with your insight and grasp of the characters. Really, it just flows effortlessly from the novels. Including the language you use--the wording in this chapter is perfect for Edward and it doesn't seem like you missed one detail from the book; continuing the addiction analogy, Bella whispering his name while she sleeps, Edward kissing her hair, Edward listening to her heartbeat, Edward's best night of his life and now having a new one--I bet you Edward actually says that in Breaking Dawn!--, etc, etc, etc. The only other fic I've read was all from Edward's POV also, but that author's Edward was a little too happy for me, lol. Not that Edward can't be happy, but he wasn't introspective, brooding or self loathing enough. You really captured Edward how I read him. I loved how you kept those 'dark' aspects of his personality, but expressed his joy and his love and even his hope at his willingness to move forward with Bella being changed. I LOVE, that you brought up Edward missing Bella's sleep talking after she's changed. That honestly has never crossed my mind, but of course he would miss that! I've always just thought about Bella losing her dreams and how that would affect her and I've thought more about how Edward might miss the warmth of her skin etc, but her sleep talking is probably first on his list. Like you pointed out, it's the one time he can gain a candid glimpse into her mind. I would be willing to bet that there is a paragraph or two in Breaking Dawn about the things Edward will miss and that will probably be in it! :)

I really loved this line "She was my addiction, a vice I could not conquer even if I had the inclination to try." and the entire paragraph that follows it. One of my fav parts in Eclipse is when Edward admits to Bella that he's 'over' her blood. It's such a funny moment because he's so causal about it and Bella is shocked, but it shows how much Edward has grown in his love for Bella and his understanding of love. Your paragraph captures it perfectly!

Thank you for making this chapter PG 13 instead of PG. haha I loved that Edward loved his 'crystal clear' memory. It's nice to read that he can turn off the vampire in him and just enjoy being a guy for a minute. ;)

Okay, I'm scared to scroll up to see how long this is!! :) Sorry about that, but I could go on endlessly about Twilight and this chapter just gave me so much to think about! I've read your other fics too and have loved them all (you really have great writing skills), but I just can't not comment on these ones! :)

p.s. Thanks for your thanks in your author's notes! That was really sweet of you. I apologize again for the rambling, but I really can't help myself! haha Especially when Edward Cullen's POV is involved. ;)

Excellent chapter. Perfect song, perfect scene. I always love reading things from Edward's point-of-view and this did not disappoint.

Loved this: "A murmur of sound against my shoulder drew my attention downwards, the reason for my inner monologue stirring slightly before settling her head with a whispered exhalation of my name." Don't really know why, except for the fact that I thought it was just a very well written sentence. It invoked quite a lot of imagery for me.

Great job! You really have a knack for bringing the world of Twilight alive with your writing.

omg that was awesome i loved it

Ellie...another beautiful chapter! This one was really powerful. I was going to write the same thing as the first review...that it totally could have been one of the 'outtakes' from New Moon on Meyer's website! :)

I really loved New Moon. Some people I've talked with about the book really hate Edward for the pain he caused Bella when he left. Though I'm not happy Bella suffered so much, I tend to empathize more with Edward and his position. Though it's not discussed too much in the book, I really think that Edward and the Cullens suffer more in New Moon than Bella ever does. I love how this chapter you wrote from Alice's POV kind of shows that.

I also liked how you showed a 'deeper' side to Alice. She always seems so bubbly and upbeat and happy and sure of the future as she sees it. As I reading New Moon, I felt that seeing Edward's possible death must have been truly torturous for her and it was interesting to read your interpretation of that.

There were so many beautiful lines in this fic it's hard to single out any favorites, but I LOVED your whole paragraph about Carlisle and Esme and their reaction to Edward's death. Just knowing how much Edward loves and repsects them both made it heartbreaking to read.

I just absolutely loved this part "Carlisle had given him life where there would have been only death, Esme had given him love where there had been only existence and this is how he would repay them. Their actions had in an indirect way given him Bella and in return for the gift of his heart he would irrevocably break theirs." Ah! So GREAT!! So much is said in just those two sentences.

I'm so happy you got hooked on Twilight! You're such a great writer and though I've only ever read one Twilight fanfic, I'm honestly really enjoying these mini-fics and can't wait for more. :)

Wow. That's all I can say. This is seriously good. Like, seriously. I really, truly feel like this could have been an actual deleted scene from New Moon.

First of all, the lyrics you included from the song were absolutely perfect.

Second, you completely captured the reactions of each family member perfectly. The one that got to me the most I think was Jasper. The fact that he would have to run away from his family to escape their emotions (coupled with his own) is something that I would have never thought about.

Finally, I loved this line: "Their actions had in an indirect way given him Bella and in return for the gift of his heart he would irrevocably break theirs." Incredible job!

Ellie! That was so beautiful! Really,...very well done. :)

In just a few paragraphs, you really captured Bella and her feelings for both Edward and Jacob. That's exactly how I interpret her relationship/bond with both of them too.

I love, love, loved your comparison of Edward to the heart. It was PERFECT! I also loved that the heart sparkled 'with the same intensity of Edward's skin'. *sigh*

Thanks for throwing some Emmett and Alice in there too. I just love all the Cullens! :)

I'm looking forward to the rest of the mini-fics.

Sue

Love me some Twilight! :) You were definitely right, this song was perfect for that particular fandom. Great job! I really hope you do more.