demo... anata wa Els-chan oneesan, ne? ANyway, awww. This was fluffy. The song rules! So does GW. XD ANyway...

You know who this is. duh. naw. woot!

What, are you riding his balonie pony?

Awww...*wipes tears* That was cute! I like how this is a sweet story, but it's not complete sap (at least, not compared to me! _). I think the ending is a little premature though. If he was that close to death, he probably wouldn't be up and hugging Hee-chan two minutes after he woke up. You could have ended the scene with a "promise" of more, and then closed the story a few months later when Duo's well, and everybody is living happily ever after! But it's great for a first try; much better than my own. Can you imagine I tried a 5xOC? Gag. (Fei is hard to write in the first place and then I go and make up a completely new chic, so I had to make up a personality...yikes. It's tough, and I'm still not finished) That was before I knew my pairings and had found my muse. Anyway, I really do like this story! Keep up the good work!

Awww, not too bad for your first one. I'm proud of you. Just work on that formatting thing, ok? It's kinda confusing. But otherwise, great job!