It was a really good story :)
haha- i hope my review is good O_o

well, i thought the description was really great! :D
I'm not sure wha can be approved...
but i wasn't sure why the really bad guy kept on saying "gewl" for "girl"-or at least i think thats what he was trying to say. i got a little confused. make sure the people's dialogue isnt too hard to understand.

other than that- good job :)
Shannen, ur awesome! xD freakin pro :P

~Haeun