|Reviews for The Ultimate Betrayal ReVisited|
| Rue Dawn 3/18/11 . chapter 2
I'm really liking the re-write of the story and you're certainly accomplashing you're goal of putting in more feelings and discription it's wonderful. I'll follow it I loved the story originally so I'd like to see what's changed :P. Keep up the good work.
| venus as a girl 8/11/08 . chapter 2
Loved it! Of course I did! You're really giving us juicy chunks of story now, and I really enjoyed how much more you've expanded on Tiff's character and the lead up to her relationship with Brian. I love that she totally whipped Brian's butt at racing too.
The drama's coming thick and fast, but then I wouldn't expect anything less from the master herself. Johnny's still alive and he's still managing to ruin everything for everyone. Poor J-girl, she seems so scared and lost I just want to take her and hide her away. I'm glad her and Brian have reunited and excited for the obvious re-meeting of B and Team Toretto - there's gonna be fireworks there I'm sure.
Tej never fails to make me laugh, just him shouting at Brian down the phone was funny. So him meeting Jordan is gonna be fun too, I foresee.
Seriously, this is shaping up to be simply fantastic sugar pie. Keep up your fantastic work!
| Princess Hermione 8/10/08 . chapter 2
Yay, that was great!
| darkworldspirit 8/9/08 . chapter 2
Hey girl, I'm just still grinning from ear to ear that your redoing the UB. I love all the descriptions you've added and I think it makes it an even better read. Very easy to read and it flows brilliantly. All hail Cheer for getting even more creative. I love the connection between Brian and Tiffany even more with how you have their characters. I totally can see it all in my head and I'm like Wow, this is so good and I want more, more more. Keep them coming homegirl. I'll try to stay patient for the next chapter. Try, I won't keep my fingers crossed though. LOL!
| lovely-whisper 8/9/08 . chapter 1
Great that this story is being revisted, but to be honest I found the previous version much easier to read. I think there's too much description in this chapter, which is not always a bad thing, but for me it makes it a little harder to read and it takes a little more energy to stay focused. But that's just my humble opinion.
Just a small question: I'm dying to find out what happens next in The Ultimate Betrayal 3. Any chance you're updating that story anytime soon?
| aliensister 8/9/08 . chapter 2
Yay! another chapter :) Poor Jordan..looking forward to more :D
| aliensister 8/9/08 . chapter 1
I like it. :) lol but why did Tiffany slip a sleeping pill in Jordan's drink?...hehehe I get the turning red when she drink I do that too, despite my dark complexion my cheeks go really red hehehe Looking forward to more.
| MimiT 8/8/08 . chapter 1
Wow, are you for real? Youre doing it over? That's great!I can't wait! This was far better! You really have grown and I admire you for challenging yourself to do better! What a way to set an example! I'll be waiting for the next chapter and the next chapter and the next...you get the point...
| darkworldspirit 8/8/08 . chapter 1
What can I say? Is there actually anyway to love the UB anymore than before. Well, my answer has to be yes. I love that your going to redo the UB and give us more meat to chew on. Finding out the feelings and the stories of the characters even more is going to be so what can I say, AWESOME. You have for sure come a long way as a writer. You keep getting better and better. Revisiting this story is going to make it even more phenomenal. You're going to make us love these characters even more after your done with this and I can tell you I just can't wait. Bring on the ReVisited!
| callieking89 8/8/08 . chapter 1
Whoho! I was hoping you would do this! Brilliant idea! Brilliant descriptions! This really helps us to see a more vivid side of our favorite little Jordan! I am loving it! Venus said it all and summed it up well; you really did grow as a writer from this chapter compared to the original! I felt like it was a whole new story too! I am impressed and you have did the unthinkable, you outdid yourself yet AGAIN! Way to go, Cheer!I bow to you!
| Princess Hermione 8/8/08 . chapter 1
Aw! It's just like old times! I love it.
Lol and yes I'm still alive! I got a mac a while back...so I don't have yahoo anymore :(. Do you have AIM? I'm always on there. I miss you!
| venus as a girl 8/8/08 . chapter 1
Booyah, this was amazing cheer girl, for sure!
Tiffany, the sneak! Slipping Jordan a sleeping pill, how sly of her. Anyway, this was fantastic. Seriously. You've really developed as a writer here, in comparison to the first draft this is simply amazing. I mean, the story lines you have are so powerful and intriguing anyway, but this one chapter just shows off your talent to no end.
The way you describe Jordan really fits her, I'm glad that you acknowledge that she's young and that, although there's some sexual tension there with her and Dom already, nothing will happen (not until she's a bit older at least :P)
I like Tiff, she seems like she's good at reading people and she knows how to use her good points to her advantage which is always a plus. You've got the other characters down to a T also, although it's still early to tell of course.
I feel like I'm reading this story for the first time all over again now, that's how good it is. The original was a millstone, but this is going to be a classic and I can't wait to see how the rest of it comes out so keep up the good work because it's really paid off!