I so want to keep reading! I think the story so far is a reasonable next part of the story, and I can't wait to hear the explanation! I have to say though, it might be a good idea to get a BETA writer, for the spelling/grammar if for nothing else.

YES I STILL WANT TO READ! I MISS YA LOVE!

wow this is amazing
I love all the different pov's.
please please please add more

How late am I on this?
Anyway, I wonder how Jack going to explain all of this. This going to be a mouthful. And maybe he should have fooled around a little bit, take some of that stress away. Or maybe I'm just perv...
Anyway, I hope there will be a chapter 4. Good job.

Never knew Marla had a brother good job adding some new info to her backsory. Also i couldn't help at smile on the parts where she said...maybe i could be nellie or jenny (helena's other characters from sweeney and big fish) that was cute. I wonder what will happen if they go back to her apartment? It doesn't seem safe to go back to her place... can't wait! update soon

I thought it was funny that she said she could be called Nellie like Nellie Lovett . UPDATE SOON!

Ok. You really got my attention. I really want to know what's going to happen next. And I think you did an outstanding job catching Marla characteristics like that. How you made her lie was just right on the money. I just hope there'll be more.

This is good. I'm really feeling the story so far. The point of views are on point and the structure is good to. It's just entertaining to read. Keep up the good work.

This is so great. I would love to hear more from you.

update soon

I liked that you added the POV of a character outside of the Fight Club characters. I like the descriptions and the dry humor. Very good with keeping in character. Update soon.

Hey really good! I hope you continue with it. We need some more Fight CLub stories in the fanfiction worlds.

Pros:
I like how you switched up the povs
I like the descriptions
the tension built up
i love this line(s):Ash is raining down from the sky from one of the buildings. It didn’t topple, instead it’s a two hundred foot torch blazing into the air, the crackle of the flames sound like there whispering Tyler’s mantras.

and

I notice she’s picked up my discarded gun from the floor. She pulls opens it, counting. “You have two bullets. Would you be willing to shoot one of those fuckers if it comes down to it?”

I hesitate, unsure. Would I?

(it makes me think even though "tyler" is dead will this tyler be able to escape project mayhem..what if he still wants to be the leader...that will lead to some juicy conflict!)

Suggestion for this chapter and future chapters:
the only think i noticed is that it sounded like the same person talking. when you switch it up find that character's individual voice cause we all talk differently and have our on way of expressing ourselves with words.

with the descriptions i feel you can write more and paint more of a picture for the reader to imagine themselves in the characters position.

the tension built up but you can push it further to make the reader sit at the edge of their seats

don't be afraid to push the envelop more..it's fight club nothing is off limits or too crazy lol