This makes me very happy! Thanks for sharing. Too funny!

i just nearly died laughing at the end part...thank you

Great, really. Although my day started terribly, now I have something to laugh at. Thanks.
;-D

This is actually very clever and funny, especially the little poem and the whole layout of the thing, but it really needs proof-reading: there are so many typing errors in such a short space that it's distracting and makes it a bit hard to follow.

You need to edit it I think (if you don't know how to do that, I have a page which gives instructions on how to use ffn's editing feature and etc. at w w w. whitehound. co. uk/Fanfic/ffn_how-to. htm ). If it was edited I would definitely add it to my recommended links pages, because it's great fun.

The typoes I spotted were:

Madam Pompfrey - should be "Pomfrey".

so lets travel on… - should be "let's" with an apostrophe (it's short for "let us").

madam hooch - should be "Madam Hooch" with capital letters, since all the other names have initial caps.

never mind - the third paragraph ends baldly on this and there probably ought to be some sort of punctuation after it, maybe ... dots.

stopped me is she wanted - should be "if she wanted".

he knew what I was doing! - should be "She knew what I was doing!", not he.

How the hell have you, pervs - that comma probably shouldn't be there.

I don't really go for this kind of humor much, which has to do with me and not your writing. I did find humorous the idea that none of the teachers are actually listening to Dumbledore.