this is really really well written and the idea is really original! i like your portrail of both characters although i wouldnt have expected them to come to an agreement so quickly. Also when Van removed his shirt shouldnt his wings popped out? And couldnt he carry both of them flying to get an idea of their settings? apart from that no questions awesome!

Sequel? PLEASE? Pretty please? This was a awesome story. It really revealed the relationship between Van and Dilandau, how they need each other...and your writing is SO descriptive. More, please?

What a bittersweet ending.. Perhaps I should urge you to keep it this way, as I don't know if I could understand a Van/Dilandau fic, but I feel somehow cheated... It's as if everything has gone back to the way it was, despite the way we wanted it to be. If it makes any difference, I would ask you to continue the story but without shonen-ai.. Many people don't attempt to write about the complex feelings involved in friendship, but this fic did so. It's difficult, and that's why. In any case, I'm deeply impressed with your story, and even your resolution, though it left me without an ending... Thank you very much for this piece, it is really individual among fics..

I guess agreeing to kill each other wasn't a valid agreement for the rules, huh... Well, anyhow, I still need to know what'll happen next... Even to the last chapter you keep me in suspense. Actually the whole 'Let's kill each other' thing reminds me of The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien. A very good book, if you have the notion to read it. Very gory, though, and some swearing, but it's very good, anyhow.. I read on..

Van pops wings! Huzzah! I just loves them wings. (admires them..) I think it's very Dilandau to want to see the dragon, not just because he's been a pyro, but also because he appreciates the beauty of danger... The allure of something that can kill you. He seems to me to be someone who could think that was beautiful, though I myself do not. Very much action in this chapter, I like that.

This is getting good, although I've become afraid that it will be a shonen-ai story.. Not that I have anything against that, but very few people write platonic stories with two guys as the only characters... I'll still like it, so long as it's well written.

I just have one piece of constructive criticism.. It makes it easier to understand the story if you put people's actions on the same line as their speech.

Therefore, instead of this:

"Are you still worried about him?" Millerna asked gently from the hearth behind them. Merle turned to her, her childish concern plain in her large blue eyes.

"Yeah," she said sadly, turning back to the window. "I wish he would come home. I miss him."

It would be this:

"Are you still worried about him?" Millerna asked gently from the hearth behind them.

Merle turned to her, her childish concern plain in her large blue eyes, "Yeah," she said sadly, turning back to the window. "I wish he would come home. I miss him."

I redid that in a couple of my older stories, and it seemed to me to work a lot better.

This is getting interesting. Though it seemed to me at first to be a little bit out of character for Dilandau not to just kill Van with that knife, it occured to my that Dilandau probably wouldn't want to be chained to a dead body for as long as it took him to get to Zaibach. He may have done that near the end of the series, when he lost all control over himself, and then regretted it, but at this time he has more common sense. Also, there's the warrior's honor thing, not attacking a helpless opponent. In any case, the dynamic between these two characters is rarely discussed except behind the faceplates of Guymelefs, and even more rarely discussed by the two characters in depth. I'm still very much interested in where this is going.. I read on...

Wow, this is extremely well written.. I'm curious as to whether it will relate the popular Japanese story about being connected to your love by a red thread. But I'm very interested in what will happen, and I'm very impressed by the way you write. It seems a calibur above many of the other authors you can see on this site. Now I must find out what happens next... I read on...

Sequel? Please you didn't seriously thought about letting it like that, huh? You've gotta continue! Please, for me and all the other readers out there! CONTINUE! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL!

This story was so GOOD! I luv it! Definetly one of my faves! .

...YES... *lights candles and bows down to author* Ohhmmm... Ohhmm... *ahem* anyway! VAN AND DIL! FRIENDS! I LOVE IT! It was CLASSIC - how their personalities came together out like this! Can we say - going on my favorites! I LOVED IT! And believe me, when something goes onto my favorites, that means it's GOOD! _ I'm a harsh judger when it comes to my favorites - I don't like too many stories on there. So be HONORED! *giggles, hugz, then falls over in amazement*

That story was absolutely wonderful. I really do hope to read the sequel. It wasn't your typical sappy story, but it wasn't complely angst and hatred either. I felt it was very fitting. Please make a sequel to this.

Awww, such a sad ending... :-( I really liked the story, though. Bravo!

Woah. I am friekin' out here. Van and Dilandau just had a conversation and it made *sense*...? Goodie . O, and I like your descriptions: "snooty

backwoods degenerate", heh. And Dilandau's whole speech about how he can't trust anybody but himself.

Much coolness... You seem to have a good grasp on Folken's personality, but Allen seems a little OOC to me. It is a good story idea however and I like how it's going so far... On to chapter two!