The plot certainly seems promising and interesting but it turns me off that I would have to refer to the bottom of the page every time there's a random switch to the Japanese text. I think it would be easier for readers to appreciate your story if you just stick to one language, if its English, all the phrases should be in English but then, it's your call since you're the author. Just a suggestion though. Good luck with writing and learning Japanese.

I like the idea of the story, and I like that you used the White Christmas song, but I don't think I'm going to read further. The random Japanese is really confusing. Even though you included translations, by the time you got to the translations I couldn't even put them into the story and it jsut gave me a headache. If the story was all in English it woudl be a great story, but the Japanese takes away from the affect because a reader is too busy trying to figure out what is going on.

Nice chapter. It seems the story will get more interesting from now on.. I like how you typed the Japanese in kana and kanji, but it may be a bother to people who don't like reading the chapter and then looking to the end for translations. I was like that too before I started learning Japanese. There were definitely a few mistakes in both your Japanese and the translations, but they were only minor ones that I don't see the point in correcting you on.

頑張れ！

it sounds like a great story and I'm very glad you continued it. But may I give a suggestion? Perhaps you should put foot notes at the bottom of the chapters translating the Japanese words you used. It can be hard to appreciate a story when you have to keep guessing or skipping sentences.
Excellent story by the way,

-C

omg that was so cute! er the ending not the sex scene. The sex scene was hot! hope you'll update soon!

Pretty good. Your style of writing, with the mix of Japanese, is interesting, though probably frustration for people that don't know Japanese. One thing though. "Fault" is spelled "sei", so it would be "Omae no sei jya nai." Otherwise, cool.

you really should think about giving us the translation. I know a bit of Japanese but I don't know half the words in the story! please update though I luvs the story

You know I LOVE IT, just thought I'd leave my review here as well!I hope I'll read more like that last scene!

you know if you ask people "should I have made this chapter longer or shorter" almost 99 percent of the people that read this will say longer right? Oh well I love it! I hope you update soon!

Well,I told you what I think...the chap starts so great and then...well,you know what I think,so...

omg whats happening to him?1 :( is it stomach flu? or something like that?

Great fic! I read in one of your notes that you were worried about OOCness... Don't be! ^^ everyone's perfectly in character! (at least, from my point of view... again, I've only watched Gokusen II so I'm not a very reliable judge, maybe? xD) but I like the storyline so far ^^ it's different from many other HayaRyus, and I like that a lot. Can't wait for the next chappie~ ganbatte kudasai! ^^

So first off you wrote in chapter one “HayaRyu, because I'm an akame lover (but not as a fangirl. I'm a Jin fangirl and Kame-disliker to the bone. You can't ask "how is that possible" because not even I myself know the reason)”

I can so relate I use to be like that except opposite I was a kame fangirl and a jin-disliker, but somewhere in between all the dislike I turned fangirl (I blame jin’s vocal range) I couldn’t explain it either -.-'

Anyways I totally can’t wait for the next chapter!! ^.^

wow. beautiful
i loved it
its so tender and caring
so beautiful
you do have a few typos in your story (just pointing it out)
but it doesnt really affect the plot and the story.
i love it
i can't wait for more!
good luck!
ja ne!

Hey it's a good story from what I've read so far but could you put in a glossary of Japanese to English words please. Thank you