Cool I liked it! I still like the Sneasel... it's so cute.

That's all I can say, my brain is buzzed too XD I haven't had any decent sleep in three days lol.

Well, this chapter was quite good, considering the standard you've set for yourself and what I've heard of your writing. There were a couple of syntax choices I found to be a little dubious, and they stood out rather markedly as I was reading. Only minor things, but they made me stop and re-read the paragraphs they were in, and it sorta broke up the tempo of the chapter as I was reading.

Another small thing I noticed was a rather confusing series of sentences during the Cynthia scene. Grammatically confusing that was; I just reckon that ellipses would work better than full stops at the end of Cynthia's talk about pheremone control. But that's just me; perhaps you were going for the broken-up touch when writing it.

All in all, the chapter was quite interesting, characters are developing well, and you're still leaving a bunch of questions in my head, which is the sign of a competent author. On a trivial note, I like the surname you gave Cynthia. It's rather fitting, in my opinion, and I mean that in a good way.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Rocky373~

Sucks to be Saturn.

Charon and Mars, right on schedule.
This is undeniably my favourite Sinnoh fanfiction. Keep up the good work!
I look forward to the next chapter~

Wa-hey!! you did udate! That actualy made my day, and isn't that sad? I think I've said this before, but this is probably my favourite fanfic, and could you please, please, PLEASE update perhaps more often? It would make me ever so happy.
and p.s., did it really just start snowing down in friggin texas, I'm in Canada, and we've already had are first (of many) snow days:) weather differences always fascinate me, for some reason.

I dunno what just happened...

...but it was awesome 8D

You made Mars (she?) remind me vaguely of Abby Sciuto from NCIS XD

Oh well, good job at making better names than moi. I assume Charon is Dr. Chokecherry.

Nice.

GAH, I'm almost wishing I hadn't read this chapter because I'm so excited for the next! Way to end things with a bang, literally. I'm curious as to what the fallout will be.

I think I misunderstood Mars' situation. Reading this chapter, it doesn't look like whatever organization she and the tough were part of is Team Galactic. I'm seriously stumped on this one. Maybe she's secretly working for Cyrus, or maybe she has her own agenda separate from that of anyone else. Either way, this is what I love about GG (as I've probably said before), everything's a mystery. Very few things are as they seem. It takes a lot of skill to pull that off. -tips hat-

Onto Mars' character. She's an interesting contrast to Gregori and Jen, who are quite a bit more serious. Mars, on the other hand, seems to find playtime in everything she does. I particularly liked that bit with the MP3 player playing "Countdown". It's downright hilarious, in a dark and twisted sort of way. An interesting parallel with Glameow as well: they both appear so playful in order to hide the fact that they're extremely dangerous.

I wonder how Gregori came by that Sneasel. He says it's been hatched for three months, but he's been out of prison for only two days, according to the dates. Maybe Natalyia gave it to him? At any rate, Cyrus betrays his interest in the Sneasel, even if he doesn't say anything. I'm assuming it'll become the Weavile we see in the games...but we never know. Lastly, I wonder what Cyrus' job for Gregori will be. Meeting up with Mars, perhaps?

In terms of actual critique, can't say anything I haven't already said a million times before. The usual mix of well-written characters, scenery, and atmosphere accompanied by a smoothly flowing storyline and a heapin' helpin' of hidden meanings. Much as I want you to take your time with Ch. 11 so it'll be the best it can be, I have to be honest and say that I'm anxiously waiting for an update.

~Time

A real page-turner here! Wonder where Mars is gonna use that bomb - oh yeah, we finally figured out that the hooded woman was Mars, which throws all my Shiri theories out the window.

I notice the scenes in this chapter are interconnected, so it's hard to analyze each one separately. But I am curious to know what the disaster on Route 214 is. At first glance, it obviously appears to be Mars' bomb. But what if the disaster is actually the reason she and the thug are caught up in traffic? Also, judging from Mars' behaviour in that last bit, I'm also thinking 'Padawan' is a TG codeword for something (instead of just a Star Wars reference).

And more Henry/Shiri love. *cough*luckyguy*cough* Shiri could still be significant, but I'm guessing that angle was a red herring, written to throw us off the track. Also, I wonder if Valerie's snag somehow involves the Route 214 thing, or if Gregori somehow managed to elude her.

My favourite character shows up again! Arceus, every time you write in Jennifer, the chapter turns into pure gold. Really. She's such a complex character, and there's a ton to be said about her. I like how we're really seeing the Mayor side of her in action here - or rather, her inability to act. We're also seeing how genuinely kind her good side is, and how her opponent take advantage of this by ruthlessly undermining her. Despite her good intentions, she just isn't cut out for the fickle world of politics. With that in mind, the stage is being set for Jen's surrender to her dark side and her entry into Team Galactic. Maybe the accident on Route 214, which horrifies her and Mary-Jane both, will be the impetus she needs.

~Time

Been a while since I've read some good old GG, and I've gotta say, it's as good as ever in Chapter 8.

Wow, I'm stumped for once. I don't know what to make of the first scene. Knowing you, you never write a scene unless it's symbolically important. I just know there's a deeper meaning to the Henry-Shiri scene. I've considered a few possibilities, but none of them seem to fit. What I did notice was that Shiri seemed to relax after that phone call. Not sure if she heard what Valerie was saying, but you never know. If it's a quiet, snowed-in morning and Henry's got the volume of his phone turned up high, it's very possible she did.

Second scene was very interesting. I like how Gregori shows that he has a soft side. That kind of character development is tricky to pull off. Here, it was smooth, without Gregori's tenderness making him OOC. I also notice you've gradually switched the personalities of Cyrus and Gregori, with Cyrus becoming more temperamental and Gregori becoming more soft-spoken and aristocratic. Interesting bit of irony there.

~Time

Hurrah, another update!
Been waiting for this one.

Another very interesting chapter. You've got quite a bit of tension developing; more so than in any previous chapter, I'd say. I particularly like how we're beginning to see a few loose ends tied up, only for new questions to pop up in their place. Also, we're beginning to see more and more familiar elements, particularly in Gregori's case. I see how he's gently being fused into the calm, collected, aristocratic Saturn we know.

The Marsh Badge Experiment: it looks like you've thought it through really well, and it shows in the way you present it. We learn a lot about it here, but at the same time, we get just enough information. I'm curious as to how exactly the scientists went about performing the experiment. More importantly, I wonder how Team Galactic will use the information...and whether they will succeed where the Sinnohsian government failed. What's also strange is that the military is still active. But I'm sure we'll find out the answers to all these questions eventually!

Isn't it interesting how Jennifer reacts to this newest appearance of her alter ego? Compared to last time, she resists quite a bit more. This time, however, it's obviously Mismagius who's responsible for the illusions (as hinted at the end of Ch. 3). Could it be that Jen's resisting more because an external force, rather than her own imagination, is creating this illusion? Also, nice touch with the Cresselia prayer and children's ditty.

Some intriguing stuff in the last section. I'm assuming the hooded lady is Mars (or the woman who will eventually become Mars): her personality is pretty similar, at any rate. Then again, looks can be deceiving. I thought Shiri could be Mars. Or maybe the hooded lady IS Shiri. That's what I love about this story, there are so many possibilities to consider. Just one thing: what's with Hooded Girl saying 'Padawan'? Haha, does that mean they have Star Wars in the Pokeverse too?

(P.S. What a n00b, I forgot when I reviewed Ch. 5 that the Marsh Badge belongs to Saffron and not Celadon.)

Wow, there's tons of stuff to talk about in this chapter. First of all, making Natalyia Gregori's sister was an interesting and highly unexpected plot twist. I really never expected it, and you pulled it off very convincingly. At least the two are on speaking - or rather, shouting - terms. I also like how you wrote in their different language, and how you explained it in the footnote. I'm not a realist myself, as you know, but the way you represent linguistic diversity adds to the realistic experience of reading the story. On another note, it doesn't seem like Natalyia is implicated in the Marsh Badge Experiment, or if she is, they don't mention it. Either way, she looks to be suspicious of Cyrus and his intentions - I'm not sure how much she'll buy into the "man with a vision" explanation.

For some reason, I'm not liking Mary-Jane. I'm not critiquing the character, I actually have a bad feeling about her...like she's a little TOO perfect. You get what I mean? She's too ordinary and cookie-cutter, right down to the chipper personality, the PDA, and the braces. It's like there's supposed to be something suspicious about her, and there isn't. At least, that's how she comes across.

Not much to say about Jen that hasn't been said already. Looks like her light side is getting stronger. She seems to be more and more uncomfortable with Cyrus' intrusion into her life. Maybe her conscience will remain intact even after she takes on the role of Jupiter, who knows?

Somehow I knew we'd meet Shiri. I was shocked at how much she swore. That's probably significant somehow...I'm getting a bad vibe from her as well. You succeed in making her very mysterious: for instance, what's her hair colour? Her eyes? Body type? Etc, etc. Also, what species of Pokemon is sleeping on the chair? It's all a mystery, I tell you! One I'm eager to find the answers to...

Finally, some backstory on Gregori! I'm curious as to what the Marsh Badge Experiment was. Wonder if it's got something to do with the Celadon City Gym. Or it could just be a codename, designed to throw us all off the track. Nice bit with Jenny there, too. I'm assuming Valerie's an Officer Jenny, what with the aquamarine hair.

A couple more intriguing things in the first part. First, the snow: it really helps set the ominous mood for this section. Henry has a hunch that something isn't right, and I agree with him. It's almost like Cyrus' plans are bringing the snows of Mt. Coronet to Veilstone, silly as it sounds. Second, why do I get the feeling there's more to Henry than meets the eye? Whatever the Marsh Badge Experiment was, it sure had him spooked.

Gregori seems to be picking up some of Cyrus' habits: the dismissive flick of the wrist, his slightly condescending attitude toward the attendant. He's starting to develop traits we see in Saturn in the anime. Most interesting, though, is how he reacts to Natalyia. I'm assuming she's his girlfriend or wife, and also that there's some tension between them. I mean, other than the obvious tension that exists from Gregori going to jail. He could be feeling guilty...or he might not want to implicate her in what he's about to do. On the other hand, Natalyia is hesitant - which means she either doesn't want to be seen with Gregori or she herself feels guilty for some reason.

In terms of actual analysis, there isn't much I can say that I haven't mentioned in previous chapters. Highly realistic, excellent development of mood, atmosphere, and setting, smooth flow of details and plot...the usual suspects, haha! However, I find that the last two chapters (this one in particular) don't immediately make the atmosphere obvious. I've had to look much deeper to find the hidden meanings and symbols - this makes the story far more mysterious.

~Time

Filler? Yes, but very useful filler in my opinion. First of all, describing Cyrus' apartment through Gregori's impression was pretty clever since that way, the description flows with the plot. At any rate, looks like jail didn't teach Gregori much, except to be smarter the next time. (Speaking of which, I hope Cyrus' pad doesn't have a fire alarm or Gregori's bad habit will give 'em both away pretty quickly) I can't wait to see what Cyrus has in store for the guy!

On to the second scene. Interesting choice of name for Mary-Jane. I get an image of the stereotypical office desk careerist, who has a house in the suburbs with the white picket fence and 2.3 kids, etc etc. To me, she represents the wider public, ever watchful of their mayor should she slip up or should unpleasant rumours start circulating. More importantly, Jen's light side is fearful of that public opinion and tries to cater to it to some extent - in contrast to the arrogance and pride of her dark side. I laughed a bit when she said, "Eh. Let the kids have a snow day." It's kind of like "let them eat cake", no?

Um...nothing more I can say about this chapter, really. I'm sure there's more to read between the lines, but my creativity is kind of asleep right now :(

This chapter confirms what I suspected all along. Jennifer wants that power she sees herself holding in that dream, at Cyrus and Saturn's side. Not only that, she's heavily addicted to that power. Your imagery is incredibly vivid throughout this chapter, but particularly in this first bit. Also, I like how you make references to the events in Pokemon Special and the 7th movie: subtle first of all, but also in a way that enhances the plot instead of detracting from it.

It seems to me that another element is coming to the fore in this chapter, which is the struggle within Jen. The 'dark' side of her clearly predominates, now more than ever, but her 'light' side doesn't want to give up without a fight. Isn't it interesting how her first reaction to her new image is to shut her eyes and say "No, that's not me"? Denial? Certainly. But could it be that part of her is truly attempting to escape what looks to be her fate?

Not as much to say about the second scene for now. A couple things caught my attention, though. First, there's the symbolism in Cyrus holding open the prison door for Gregori, as though in a way he's raising Gregori from the dead. Once again, the idea of Cyrus as the Sun comes into play here. Second, Cyrus seems incredibly confident in his new protege. It's like Gregori's obedience is a foregone conclusion, as Cyrus trusts him to go to the hospital on his own despite the other's little outbreak.

And now for the last scene. Ironic, isn't it, that Cyrus can remain so calm when focusing on his bigger scheme, while the smaller things in life manage to bring out his irritation and anger? For all his detachment, Cyrus is still very human. When he comes across a being he can't control, like Mismagius, that lack of control brings out his anger. Through the simple-minded Mismagius, you provide an interesting contrast to the weak-willed apartment manager; to Gregori, who despite making a fuss will nevertheless obey Cyrus; and to Jen, whose obsession is quickly setting the course of her future.

~Time