|Reviews for Almost Cheaper By The Dozen|
| fantasybookworm2012 5/15/13 . chapter 31
Is Alics having twins? Oh gosh. So this is all of their kids;
That's nine kids. Theyvhav the Wealeys beat.
| fantasybookworm2012 5/15/13 . chapter 27
Sequal please! Please! I mean it be awsome to see how the rest of the school
Reacts to all te change in parentage, and siblings. Please!
| fantasybookworm2012 5/14/13 . chapter 19
Dragon Rider? That sounds like something pulled straight out of my best friend's anime series( one of them.)
| fantasybookworm2012 5/14/13 . chapter 6
Oh no. The Durseleys have a daughter? This isn't going to go well.
| anonymous 5/1/13 . chapter 17
1 mile in 45 minutes? Are they morbidly obese turtles? I'm a slow runner and I can walk a mile in 13. I think your time measurements are off.
| HazySunray 11/11/12 . chapter 19
Hiya there Muggle07!
I'd like to tell you what I thought about your story, because on a scale of 1 to 100 I would have to give you a 50 and it shouldn't be fair to dish that out without explaining why.
First off, as other reviewers have already written: the SPANKINGS! You explain them well and they are very detailed, no worries. It's just that they get spanked an AWFUL lot. And at the age of 12 no less. That's supposed to be the age where kids make the step from child to teen and teens don't get spanked unless they have done something terribly wrong that could have taken lives.
Do you get where I'm going with this? I'm not saying that you shouldn't write it, I'm saying, play around with this idea. Make the kids say "I'm not accepting this! I'm not a child! How dare they punish us for something as ridiculous as this?" I find them too accepting. Yes, they make mistakes and sometimes leap into dangerous situations, but the moment they hear that they're being spanked they just submit. If it were me, I'd be running for the exit screaming, "You wish!"
Now secondly, as fun as it all is that they come together as a family, there's no depth in the family bonds. When Harry heard that Severus was going to be his guardian, he threw one tiny 'tantrum' if you could call it that, though I would rather refer to it as a panic attack, and he got PUNISHED for it (even though running away and clearing his head instead of screaming bloody murder was something you should praise him for) and then they didn't respect a single thing Harry said and carried on with their plan anyway. And what happened after that? Harry ACCEPTED. He submitted. You could say that as an abused child he would be submissive, but then, in my idea, a child who has been abused either is all bark and no bite / no bark and no bite, and after reading the character development of your Harry, I think it's safe to say that your Harry is a barker.
Once again, I'm not saying 'scratch the entire thing' I'm saying 'let's play around with this idea!'
Make him stand up for his rights! He fought not to be handed the guardian that has been bothering him for EVER and after one small chit chat at the lake everything is okay? NO WAY dude. He's twelve, he's gonna' forget the conversation altogether when he's pissed off and he's gonna be pissed off because once again, he's twelve. Let him punish Snape a bit for his previous crimes.
Same goes for Draco. I found him way too mellow in this chapter. Way too 'okay that's cool my dad disowned me but I've got people who love me so I'm good now'. It sure helps to have people who love you surrounding you, but remember that Draco is a people-pleaser in your story. This means that no matter how much his father would hurt him, Draco would always seek his approval. This is also stated in the beginning, where Draco asks his father to take him with him so he could help him. He asks him 'don't leave me' and 'I could be of help, please don't go'. So he depends on his father and wants to look good for him. Don't you think that such a child would be extremely hurt if the father he tried so hard for would write such horrible things to him instead of "Draco, you have been misled. They obviously tricked you and filled your head with lies. Come back to me, son."
Because Lucius DOES need an heir and he does need to recruit new Death eaters.
And last but not least, Hermione! Not only the fact that her name is Hermione, but the fact that she had apparently never been spanked before, (let alone with a brush,) and then suddenly, she gets spanked by somebody she barely knows! I don't care what kind of reasoning was behind that - you don't do it. I know that collective punishment seemed like a good way to go, but nobody would have hated Hermione for not getting the same punishment as her. And if you really think it's a better idea, add in some drama around poor old Herm' who is living at school during the Summer vacation, probably misses her parents a little, and got spanked by a lady who is apparently vicious with a wooden spoon. Come on! Rebellion! Have Hermione stand up for herself! She should be angry at all the adults for the decision they made! I swear once again, if that ever happened to me, I'd be screaming down the freaking walls.
But there were marvelous things, as well. Such as Cassy! I adore the way you wrote about her! Not too important, but still cute when she pops into the story. That's the way you should write an O.C. in my opinion. Very nicely done!
Also the planning! The way they go about their 'missions' and punishments is very thought-out and clever. I love the teamwork idea Hermione presents them with and yes, it's true that once you get the knack of a certain thing, it'll become automatism.
The Animagi transformations were great! Also, let me say, really fab the way you had Draco transform and damage the classroom before we could see what Harry's Animagus was.
Also, I know that I'm not commenting on the presence of something but the lack of it, and I HATE it when people describe the magical food they put into their stories. It's unnecessary and uninteresting, and I'm glad that all you put in there was 'juice'. Seriously. Awesome. I do not need to know if it's pumpkin juice, or apple juice, or magical chestnut juice, or whatever.
So on a whole, it's a 50-50 kind of thing. I had moments where I was like 'aww that's so cute' but there were also moments where I was staring at the screen going 'this is absurd'. So please, don't take this as a flame; I'm merely trying to get you to see your story from a different point of view than your own.
| gladiosa 8/26/12 . chapter 1
I really enjoyed this story. You write very well. I think my favorite character would have to be Cassy. She is very cute :-)
| staretoile 8/26/12 . chapter 31
I really like your story. I had all kinds of emotions, when reading it. Laughing, crying, beeing upset... I
could feel with your protagonists. Harry beaten by his uncle, Draco abused by his father, the two boys
becoming friends, the development from Snape. Snape first hating Harry, then he is concerned about
him and at the end he is loving him. There were many drastic changes in your story and I loved them.
For example that the Dursleys adopted a wizard girl. That Nevilles mother is still alive and that there
grows a loving relationship between her and Snape. I also liked the action in the story. That the kids
(and Percy!) worked together. That they all can get animagi and that the help each other. I was so
sad, to read about all the killed parents, but all the kids found a new family with Severus and Alice.
Harry beeing Snapes son and Snape and Alice adopting all the kids is awesome and now they are
getting twins! I think Snape has a new reputation now. I am really looking forward to reading your
other story, because i wanna know, how they manage their teamwork when school starts, because
Draco and Luna are in other houses...
| Guest 8/21/12 . chapter 31
| Guest 8/21/12 . chapter 27
this my fav story of all time
| grace 7/18/12 . chapter 3
your story sounds like an essay...the characters are not really portrayed authentically...and the words seem so forced...
"He is telling the truth Professor", said Draco, "He was helping me".
I don't imagine Draco would actually say these words...your story just doesn't have that spark for me ): sorry ):
| Jasper's Mom 7/3/12 . chapter 1
I'm enjoying the story. I look forward to reading the sequel.
| beautifulbee22 5/23/12 . chapter 31
I LOVED it, but would hermione really call them mom and dad so soon after losing her parents? was not very realistic.
| beautifulbee22 5/23/12 . chapter 30
I love your story but... MUM! not mom. yessh.
| beautifulbee22 5/23/12 . chapter 24
I do not even know what to say. I have been sitting here reading this story and i was like... yeah this is good. meh. then this chapter came.. I cried... I am still crying. this is beautiful. I just had to tell you, i usually do not comment till the end but this was amazing and i did not even see it coming. kjsndfnj! this is brilliant! I love it. *goes back to reading*