pretty well written, however i felt like it had been copied tsraight from ghost whisperer. good idea, but maybe you could make it a tad more tmm-ish? much love x

That was cute. Really cute. Nicely written too. And I love how you made it come into a complete circle there. Starting off with Ryou's dad, and then ending with Ryou's dad. Very interesting too. Good job!

Bucky.

First off, here's what I'm looking for in your story:

1. Proper Spelling/Grammar
2. How well it was put together under four thousand words
3. How IC the characters are even with it being an AU
4. How well you portrayed Ryou and Ichigo's relationship (romantic or friendly)
5. How it's ended
6. The overall development
7. No character bashing
8. Plot
9. Detail
10. If all of my contest rules were taken into consideration and used...

I'll begin with a few words of con-crit... personally as a side note, I'm not really into supernatural fics... just wanted to mention that... I felt that maybe your story could've used a bit more detail--like maybe describe the train station a little better... And also, if you're using hyphens, a space after them is not needed. I caught you do that once. :P

Now, I really liked how you portrayed Ryou and Ichigo, especially when they first met. Ryou was so Ryou and Ichigo was so... Ichigo. He was rude and sarcastic and blunt... and she was clumsy, objective, and obnoxious... it felt like I was actually watching an episode of TMM.

I'm also quite fond of the little poetry you had going on at the beginning to set the mood for the story. And just the title for the story I liked. I thought it was quite--you don't see French titles that often...

Much love ♥

~Kittie

That was really sweet, and a pretty original idea too! Pretty well written, with a good use of dialogue - their conversations had a good flow to them.

There was quite a big gap between her meeting him and the ending part, but with only four thousand words, it was hard to go into any more detail and still finish it.

KO xoxo

*laugh* Cute! This is really good!

Wow i love it

That was wonderful! Great job!

Kawaii! It's very unique! Although I have to admit that it's a bit rushed. If there were more details into this I'd say that it would be a much better piece than it already is. It's still is very good though!

This is a cute story. Please make some more. Ichigo and Ryou forever.

Quite the interesting entry you have, I have read some of your other stories (My personal favorite is Dreaming in Color)and I think you got a pretty good chance of either winning or at least a good review from Kish's Kitty

Loved it!

Write Soon, Sar T. Loves Ryou Shirogane

Hi

Yes, another entry!
Well, I think that this was written nicely. A bit more description would have been nice but really, four thousand words isn't very long at all. I was worried that I'd run out of space for mine.
Sweet story though. Actually, I generally don't read supernatural but I'm glad that I read this. Very nice,

XxStrawberryKittyxX

Aww, that was adorable! And your story means that this competiton has more entries than the last one! Huzzah!

Firstly, I think you could have done with some more description. I can't really point to a specific part where it could use some padding out (sorry), but as a whole the fic felt kind of rushed. You have like two weeks before the contest deadline, why not use those extra 10 words to flesh out this cute little story?

Secondly, well, this fic isn't something I'm into (I'm not into R/I OR fluff, actually), but the premise is absolutely fantastic. In the hands of a less-skillful writer, this might have seemed incredibly cliche. You, however, pull it off nicely. The ending seems SO obvious, but only once it's happened. While reading, I really wasn't sure what was going to happen when Ichigo saw Shirogane-san again. Usually I'm quite cynical about these things, but your story was so sweet it managed to take me by surprise.