I like the way their relationship progressed from rivalry to friendship to love. The way she was the first to notice the changes between them, and the subtle, secret way they courted. And the bit about her flicking his ear when he finally realized it -- that made me smile. Because my friend does that to her bf whenever he realizes something she knows he should have realized long ago.

Dramatic irony is always fun. Actually I have a similar idea for Matthew and Leila so, if I ever finish it, please don't think I'm ripping off yours!

As for concrit, I wish it was more...succinct? Many of the details, like their developing relationship, are done well, but it feels like you lumped a lot of touch detail in that paragraph starting with "she'd certainly noticed." I started skimming, not because it was hard to understand, but because there was so much of it at once, unbroken. And even though this was a short piece, I think some can still be trimmed and less can be said explicitly. Like at the end, it would have been enough to see him smile and pocket the ring, to think of her smile and see in her eyes the answer to the question he had yet to ask. We know he loves her; you don't have to say it.

Still, I thought it was pretty good. The progression of their relationship, their unusual courtship, and of course the irony, were nicely done.

Ah! You're done! Congratulations! And aww... You're welcome! I'm glad that you wanted to do the challenge, and even happier that you finished it.

So MatthewLeila, eh? I'll admit, I was curious what you were going to do with it, and then when I realized that they were on Valor... Oh my.

The ring just about broke my heart. It really did. Oh, why did she have to go? Poor Matthew...

Anyway, hope to see more from you in the future! Keep writing, and congratulations again on finishing the challenge!

[Xirysa]

(Is yanking own hair)

IRONY SPOTTED.

Oh, man. That was SO good. You have no idea. At the very beginning, I thought Matthew's reminiscing would be sad...and then I realized, "Oh! He doesn't know she's dead, yet!" And, of course, I was waiting for the whole fic to lead up to that...the last line was absolutely perfect. YAY IRONY.

A couple of TINY things I noticed: when you're talking about how Leila was good at everything, it might be better to just italicize the whole word...and in "The hand that had once withdrawn before the knife did began, instead, to linger" should have "begin", rather than "began"...but really. Those are so minor I don't know why I'm even talking about them.

The details about the romance between Matthew and Leila are very sweet and quite believable. So excellent job on that. Excellent job on the whole thing.

--Kender

Wow...that kicked the crap out of my idea. It's so fiery in there, with Matthew very Matthew-y. His characterization is dead-on perfect, while Leila is seen with a personality, for once, in this fandom. A marvelous ending to a marvelous collection. I'm only sad it's done!

I like the line about sentiment and story and memory in music, and the bit about the boat and currents of music is an interesting metaphor. But I don't really feel it, the magic and mystery and emotion that I think you're trying to convey. Not sure why. It's not the lack of technical terms; I wouldn't understand them anyway. It feels distant, removed, as if someone is explaining something to me instead having me live the moment with her. I think that's it.

Your mechanics are good as always and I like that it's about Nils, someone I don't see too often in fic. I think I have an idea of what you're going for too, but I just don't feel it.

Still I don't want to discourage you. This focus on a single sense is challenging, and I think it's cool what you've done so far. Good luck on the last piece!

HUZZAH!

Now that's what I call a chapter. And not just because it has a flute in it. Although that is quite a contributing factor. (By the way...of COURSE "flautist" isn't spelling it wrong! It's actually the preferred spelling...and I would know xD.)

Anyways, I DID notice how un-techie it was. At first I was a little confused, thinking that specifics about the music would have made it better, but your author's note had a point: Cass wouldn't know anything technical! So that's fine...tacticianxNils is pretty cute, too. I'd always assumed that Nils was too young to get some love, but...he deserves it. He's pretty much a beast. (My cousin found out how to hack into his game and give Nils an ATTACK. He plays his flute...and then THUNDER comes down and strikes the enemy! It's SO GREAT. You have no idea.)

Yeah. But...aw. Music. It's so bitter-sweet. Like this chapter. Good job! Can't wait for the next one!

C: My sister's a flautist, actually. She saw me reading this and flipped out when she saw the title. Oh, she wants me to tell you that flautists totally own.

Now I have to say, as a French horn/mellophone/trumpet player... Brass totally kicks ass. XD Now it's review time.

[His songs had swamped and capsized her little boat from the first note, immersing her in the currents of his songs.] Probably one of my favorite lines, actually. I love using water and such to describe music!

Nils is... Oh my, Nils is made of epic win. Srsly. And he's fun to write, too. As of now, this is probably my favorite chapter. And I'm not saying that just because I've been a bando for the past six years and a music-philic 'tard my entire life. It really was very good.

And only one chapter left! Hehe, I'm excited to see that. Keep writing!

[Xirysa]

Ooh, great! The continued repetition of the same ideas really provided the backbone for this story. And wow, so good even Jaffar will sit and listen? Nils, you should've stayed in Elibe and become the first musical star! Eliwood's little appearance somehow completed it...if he hadn't said anything, I'm not too sure it would've felt quite the same. Great lead, by the way. Keep it up! One more to go!

Good, clear writing. Rebecca's thoughts are immediately clear, accessible, and most importantly -- interesting.

xD Hah, oh man, the tactician poisoning the food and Vaida's unnamed meat. I love this kind of humor. It's subtle, natural, and makes me think this is the kind of person who lives with a wry grin forever tucked in the corner of her mouth, amused by the goings on of the world.

Rebecca's got it bad, no? Not only does he cook better than anyone she's ever known, but he's got a "gallant steed."

How *does* he bake a pie without a stove? Unless of course, he carries one inside that picnic basket of his, Mary Poppins style.

The last two large paragraphs are a bit bulky and don't flow as well as the rest. I couldn't say why exactly until I rewrote one. Here's what I think:

The paragraph that begins with "His voice behind her startled her out of her thoughts" has 7 sentences, 19.7 words per sentence, and 138 words in all. (thanks to Word's readability stats)

Another way it could have been written is this:

[A voice behind her startled her from her thoughts. He stood there with something in his hands, no bigger than one of his palms, and covered by a white cloth. She asked him what it was, but had her answer before he could reply. She could smell the rich pastry and sweet, hot berries, as well as the fresh, clean flavor of cream. It was a pie, blueberry, to be exact. And how he had baked one without an oven, much less one so perfect, was completely beyond her. Maybe he *was* just a genius.]

This has 7 sentences, 13.5 words per sentence, and 95 words in all. It has the same amount of detail, but in fewer words, so it reads faster.

You could streamline those two paragraphs to make them faster. Cut vague words like "vibrant odors" and let your specific details, like "sweet, hot berries," stand on their own. Don't repeat the same idea three times in 5 consecutive sentences. (was it for her? why had he made the pie for her? what was so special about her?) Just say it once. Keep only the most relevant details. (Good to know he's going to make enough for the entire army, but I don't care as much for why.)

But other than that, I wouldn't change anything about this piece. I like the humor, the characters, the way taste is brought out in food. Rebecca is endearing. She's so earnest and determined and cute. And Lowen, who I've never liked, seems pretty cool here, probably because Rebecca admires him so.

Charming is the word I'd use to describe the piece. It's my favorite of the three so far.

I CAN? I can guess?! Uh...uh...UH! I don't know! I want to say ErkxSerra, of course...you already know that both of them are going to be in MY hearing chapter...AH PLEASE FORGIVE MY BLATANT LACK OF SKILL IN REGARDS TO BEING OBSERVANT.

Anyways...this was a cute chapter. I liked how there was no dialogue. And LowenxRebecca is really cute. You sure captured Rebecca's relentless...love of life, I guess. How she is so determined to know about Lowen's spice, and how she can use it to catch up with him--ambition without any real evil. Unlike some other certain archers we can mention (coughcoughINNES!).

Yep. So. I'm looking forward to that next chapter.

Oh, Vaida... You and your meat... XD

Anyway, can I just say that I love that I love Rebecca and Lowen? They're so cute together... Actually, I love Lowen. Hmm... I guess I have a thing for mostly for mounted units and mages... C: But what can you do, eh?

[Indeed, after that second bout of food poisoning, they had forbidden the tactician from any form of food preparation ever again.] THAT was funny. Seriously, it was.

Hearing, huh? Hmm... With sound, I automatically think Vaida, Nils, or Serra. But it's not going to be either of them, is it? Probably going to be totally unexpected... Let's see, who doesn't talk to others that much? Rath, Kent, Geitz, Ninian, Florina... I'll stop there. Maybe I'll think of some more later.

Kudos on another great chapter! Good grief, I don't know how I'm going to judge these! Everyone who's participated is doing a wondeful job... [sighs]

Looking forward to more!

[Xirysa]

Wow. So, I guess my random comment on something about Kent, venison, and pineapple meant something? Or maybe I'm reading too deeply into your author's note. Well, this...was perfect. Rebecca is just SO Rebecca, and the way that you conveyed dialogue without breaking the flow of it was sublime (or sub-blueberry? Okay, that was just bad...)
The continued repetition of the "No"s fit well, and the inclusion of her severely deluded vision of the battle made me laugh. Once again, you've done it! Way to go!

I can't believe I didn't review this chapter yet. I feel bad. D: And I don't know if you know yet, but the deadline's been extended to October 31st. Gotta love Halloween.

Anyway... I love Pent and Louise. I like Pent more, though. Something about magic users always gets me... CX

You portrayed the sense very well, I thought. Keep up the great work!

[Xirysa]

Nice amount of detail. The musty air of the study, the scent of parchment and leather and dry ink describe the study well, and contrast wonderfully with the fresh air, the scent of violets and roses and grass of the gardens. I like the scents that characterize Louise - strong steel and leather, soft beeswax, sweet pea and wood. I like that, to Pent, those scents make up something uniquely her, and make him content.

But brimstone? As in fire and brimstone and the flames of hell? I have a hard time with that one. Yes, it's mysterious and otherworldly, but more fitting for a dark mage skulking in the shadows with an evil glint in his eye. It also smells really bad.

And as a minor note, try to avoid lists. Telling me her scent is "definite, relaxing, unsullied, invigorating, subtle, and enveloping" loses me as a reader. Instead of a string of words, show me the effect she has on him (like you do in the last two paragraphs) or spread it out. You can say it enveloped him, made him feel new, instead of using the adjective forms.

But I like it overall. I'm a big fan of these short, focused stories, where every detail counts and you have to show character and emotion in few words. I really like your attention to detail, especially with Louise. Flowers seem to be associated with her, but I never thought of beeswax and leather and wood. These small details flesh her out as a character.

Oh and yes, nice image in that line.

Good stuff and good luck with the other pieces.

Another beautiful chapter, I see. You pulled off scent without seeming overtly sappy as they seem to be (I mean, really, if someone smells like something you'd better have a good reason as to why. You don't know how often I've found something random pop up without reason. A small part of me dies inside every single time). The whole "scent" aspect made sense (no pun intended!), and it all fit very well with Pent and Louise. The closing sentence was perfect. I envy so your ability to actually wrap up a story!
Cheers!
LittleGreenBudgie