"No, seriously, I HATE doing speculation. Writing the future is ok, but inventing the past... yeah. It doesn't sit well with me."

Interesting. :D

Well, since you practically gave me PERMSSION to dish out some concrit, I think I'll take advantage of it and do just that. :D

Let's see... Well, there weren't very many grammar issues, which made me happy. "Treck" should be "trek" and "cosy" is usually spelled "cozy" (but "cosy" is right, too, so you can ignore this comment if you want). I caught a few punctuation mistakes:

["Here, I can have a cosy home with my family", she would say.]

When continuing a sentence after using quotation marks, you normally put the comma between the final word and the closing quotation mark. "Here, I can have a cosy home with my family," she would say."

[...[W]e can't afford them for the moment though…".]

You don't need the extra period at the end of the sentence.

And:

["… yeah."]

The first letter of the first word of every sentence should be capitalized. Unless, of course, you're writing in an experimental style.

I think that's about it for the grammar stuff. But really, there weren't very many problems at all. And I just noticed those things because I'm picky, heh.

The story itself was very interesting. You have a nice clear style that's easy to read, which makes things flow rather smoothly. I thought it was cool that you had Baelheit start from such humble beginnings (do I have DarkNo to blame for this?) -- from having no library at all as a teen to owning his own as an adult. And it was interesting to read about what Alfard might have been like during Baelheit's youth. It was like watching a silent film. I don't mean to say it was jerky and monochrome -- nope, it just felt like a piece of history, like it was from another era. It felt real.

I kind of laughed at "Heit," but that's just because I'm not used to it. Reminded me of "Gib" and "Kahn."

Anyways, there is going to be another chapter of this... isn't there? It says "Complete," but it seems like there should be more to it. If it IS supposed to end like this, then I have a couple comments...

For a more conclusive ending, you could have: 1) put some kind of conflict in the story. Every story needs conflict! 2) Okay, I lied. Not every story needs conflict. But if you want to write a story depicting a certain time or moment in a character's life, then I would recommend a different set-up, or at least a different ending. It would have been better to end it in a way that is more decisive, but also hints at the future. You described his hopes and aspirations earlier in the story, but if I were you I would have save them for the end. That way, readers get a good idea of what his life is like in Alfard as they read the beginning and middle, and then at the very end they see where he where he wants to take it, what he wants to do with it, and after the fic ends they can imagine how he'll develop into the person he is in the game. Another way to make the ending more decisive is to have Baelheit come to some kind of conclusion. How did the events of the story (thinking about his life and family) affect him? Also, how did Stern's appearance in the fic change things?

Whew. Sorry for all the criticism. I hope you don't mind... I really did enjoy the fic though. Actually, all the bad things were WAY outweighed by the good. I like your writing style. Your characterization of a young, idealistic Baelheit was perfect. And I REALLY enjoyed the third paragraph. Et cetera. :)

Seriously, you and DarkNo always make me want to read more about the oft-forgotten characters of Origins, like Baelheit and Milly. I enjoyed this fic, and I look forward to reading more of your works in the future.

AWesome, I love it. Surprisingly, really in-character. Stern fits -perfetly- as Milly's mother. XD

... I still say it's totally unfair to stop here. *drooling*
Hehehe, so I'm your BK muse, hu? Nice. Especially if it makes you write awesome stuff like that.
AND I TAKE ALL RESPONSIBILITY ON THOSE SPECULATIONS, because they're too awesome to make me feel ashamed if someone betches about it. XD
And no, Milly surely didn't inherit her semeness from her father. As much as I love Baelheit, he's a desperate Uke *which means he's easier to rape... wait, did I say that out loud?*
And young!Baelheit in an azhani cape has to be the hawtest thing ever. X3