is this whole story in this god dam pov? who gives a shit about this girl! you write good, but this character...

Hmm...Final thoughts. I thought the story was pretty good but here are some suggestions for improvement. They're not meant to be mean or cruel just some tips. Amarantha came off as a shallow with no depth. Writing deep, realistic characters is hard, I'm sure some of mine turn out shallow sometimes.

She was easily swayed in her thoughts and opinions and her dialogue was rather weak making her come off as an airhead and unstable, not the type of girl Murtagh is likely to end up with. He strikes me as the type to care about intelligence just as much as looks.

Overall, it was pretty good for a first try with a MurtaghOC. Most OC's aren't received well on here so I commend you for writing one.

Well ending though the characters... well, let's put it this way, they reminded me strongly of our modern people, like the name max and so on. Well done. U did what i couldn't. Finished a whole story! Well done again

Nice update, but why is Amarantha alway an emotional basket case? Most women aren't like that. Even her daughter treats her like she's inferior and I don't blame Eli. I would too.

I am SO sorry I haven't reviewed at all for the past cupple of chaters! I LOVED them all but I think both Amarata's kids have...drifted away...anywho, I am EXTREMLY(!) SORRY! anywho(again, ha) realy good chapter...chapters...hm, realy good! uh...bye ^_^!

Great update, loved it.

Great update, loved it. Keep up the great work.

I wan't to hit Amarantha for that coment.Anyway both chapters where good!

Excellent update! I loved it! Keep up the amazing work.

Nice update, I loved it. However, I didn't like the sexist comments at the end. A girl can do anything a boy can do and its just wrong to say that they can't.

grea tupdate, love dit.

excellent update, I loved it! Keep up the great work.

great update, I loved it!

excellent update, I loved it.

great update, I loved it.