this was really good!
you write very well too :)

This one made me cry! It's so sweet it gave me afreaking toothache! Update it soon!

Hiya

That was a great piece! I thoroughly enjoyed reading that one. You established the scene very confidently, and maintained a steady pace throughout the chapter.

On a purely technical aside, the Twilight pieces are usually done from Bella's POV, but I really liked your writing. I hope you'll be posting some more here soon.

Cheers
Sandy

BETTER NOT BE A ONESHOT! :P