oh this is good, sexy, ** riddick yummy. More please.

i love this story. From the movies i remember riddick had a more refined way of speaking and didnt really use the word ain't, but its cool to see him so crass. Please continue i really wanna read the whole story.

This story is interesting. Another angle in a complex character. However, I have the sinking suspiscion its going to be one of those forever unfinished fics, too bad.

R

Love this story, can't wait for update :)

Wow love this story, can't wait for next chapter :)

Great update. I love that story by Kali-Red. I'm glad you have decided to keep going with this. Bring on the darkness!

I really love this story I cant wait to read more. I love Riddick and Jack together. And I dont care how dark Riddick is it is perfect for him very in character.

ciao-Mel

Glad you haven’t abandoned this!

“Ah! Why does he always have to be so confusing about everything! I thought girls were the ones who were supposed to have that market cornered! Guys are supposed to be blunt and straightforward!’”

I was surprised how much of a gender essentialist she’s turning out to be.

“After leaving the café yesterday they had gone back to the house to drop off her bags before heading to the gym so she could show Riddick everything she’d learned in gymnastics. He had been dutifully impressed with her skills as a gymnast and told her that once they were in space he’d start her defense training again and that her new skills would be useful. It was more than obvious she’d never be a great fighter, but Riddick insisted with her agility once he taught her a few necessary moves and skills she’d be able to defend herself adequately in case he wasn’t there to do it for her. She hadn’t really cared much either way. In her mind she didn’t really need to be that skilled in combat because Riddick would never let anything bad happen to her, he hadn’t so far. When they’d finished at the gym they’d caught a movie Jack had wanted to see instead of going to the club, and after that Riddick had again insisted that she go home while he “went out”. She’d argued, but when he leveled that stare of his at her she’d given in and let him escort her home without too much fuss. This time though she stayed awake drawing until he came back so that she wouldn’t have nightmares again.”

That’s a really long paragraph. I would have honed it down or cut it up. I was disappointed in her assessment of her own skills and her willingness to cede so much responsibility for her own protection to Riddick.

Next paragraph was also a little heavy. Maybe break it up with some physical details? She is showering. That said, my eye stumbled over “Jack decided to put these thoughts off until later as she rinsed the conditioner out of her long locks and began to lather up her body.” That’s more of someone else’s view and we were in hers . . .

“Outside the bathroom Riddick lounged on Jack’s bed thumbing through her journal while at the same time keeping note of the sound of running water to make sure he didn’t get caught.”

Nice.

The particular journal entry – I might hang a lantern on the fact he’s reading something that on the nose.

“Even though he was still unsure as to whether or not he was going to make Jack his bed partner he couldn’t deny that her body made his dick hard.”

I like the end of the sentence. The beginning’s a little stilted.

Riddick was perching on the bed? I got more of a lounging feel.

Drop dead gorgeous, a gymnast and an accomplished artist? Who has nightmares? Man. I do have increasing trouble identifying with her.

“Riddick grunted in response. ‘I’m glad too. It will give her something to do and keep her occupied while on the ship. Especially when I get off on the planets we stop at. Maybe I can figure out which art supplies she likes the most and use them as rewards and payoffs to keep her in line. I’ll have to ask Imam if there are things she’s wanted but were too expensive. Or maybe I can thumb through her journal while she’s at school Monday to see if there’s anything I can use. She’s going to pitch a fit once we get the new ship and she finds out that’s she’s not going to be allowed to leave it. It’ll help for me to have some kind of incentive for her to behave.’”

Snort. Yeah. that’s gonna work.

‘Riddick smiled to himself as he followed after Jack. He took a seat at the table and watched as Jack bustled about the kitchen making steak and baked potatoes. ‘I’ll need to start introducing her to the idea of sharing my bed. I don’t think it will take too much convincing, but I don’t want to rush it either. I know she had a ** childhood, and her foster dad really hurt her when she was little. From what she told me she ran before he could actually ** her, but he did enough to traumatize her. I’m not going to be one of the monsters in her dreams so I’ll have to go slow, but sooner or later I am going to ** her. I just need to make her want it first.’”

I like a lot of that, but again, I’d hone it down.

Welcome back! I'm happy to see your writing again. Like I said before I love the story can't wait for more.

Jack is gonna have to do some serious time in the school of hard knocks if she wants to survive Riddick.

Kia

I can't wait for the next installment

Hey Tex...we need you to update us!

Hey, Sorry it's been so long, wow this is getting interesting, I know you warned us that this Riddick wasn't a very nice Riddick,but I love the way you've written Jack, I do believe Jack is just biding her time until he does something that she won't take, and I don't think that he would like to be without Jack, so it's up to her to find a way to show him that if he doesn't buck up she's gone. I don't think that Jack would cope with him with other women, she would take off, I can see her thinking that he doesn't love her he just owns her, and she wouldn't like that too much and she would fight him, and she would try to leave him. Loosing Jack's love would be devestate him, but if he hurts her he doesn't deserve it. Will send a private message.

HOt! Really nice, I really want to see what happens in the next chapter between the two. Luving the suspense!

I would like to give you a big thumbs up. It's obvious that this Riddick is more along a sociopath line, and it's hard to keep that distinction between him doing things he wouldn't want to do because it will benefit him in the end, and letting him soften towards her with time. I always prefer the former, I think it's truer to the original character, and it is much harder to write. It's too easy to have him go soft and cuddly, and while it is nice to read about, it is fascinating to read how well you have depicted him. I hope you don't let him stray too much from his sociopathy. pretty sure that's a word, lol.

Also, I find the the fact that it makes him content to have her around, and in order to keep her around she has to be happy, which makes him sometimes do good things for the worst reasons a great motivation in your story. I can't wait to see where you go with this, to see how much she pushes him and how much he is willing to let her push him.

Count me as a future loyal reviewer of this story.