This is a nice start! I can totally see how you won a contest with this. It reads very much like the game, and everyone is in character. My only problem is the chapters are a bit long. Other than that, it's perfect! keep it up!
Kimmie

I really really liked this prelude, the characters are all in character and the settings are all perfect. No wonder it won those awards!

Thanks for sharing this story.

Wow, great story! It really adds to the gk universe with its haunting imagery(loved the nightmare scenes appearances of Malia/Tetelo!), its foreshadowing and depth, and great writing and humor. This kind of imagination and creativity is rare, and I really hope you keep on writing. Great job!